Kilt at Wedding

**Oscar** · 30th December 10, 10:29 AM

Greetings all,

I am getting married next month. My sister and her husband will be attending and she contacted me, asking if her husband can wear his kilt (he was born/raised in Scotland). It is a small wedding (30 people) at a resort in Mexico. I will be wearing a suit and tie, groomsmen will be in long sleeve shirts and ties. My sister's husband is not part of the wedding party (i.e. a groomsman).

At first, I thought "sure, why not, why would I care, he can wear whatever he likes." I went to his and my sister's wedding and he wore the kilt. It looks great. He is a wonderful guy and this has nothing to do with my being able to say "no" or "have things my way." But then I thought, as this is a beach wedding, fairly casual with only me in a suit, would his presence in his groom "wedding kilt" possibly be viewed as upstaging or as detracting attention from who it should be on (the bride and groom)? How could it not possibly detract attention from the wedding party and I?

I appreciate your honest feedback.
Oscar

**Jay** · 30th December 10, 11:03 AM

the same could be said of a woman wearing a "little black dress" that overshadows the bride.

In this case, he is asking first as he feels it may be an issue. Kudos to him for being a gentleman and asking.

So based on what you have said, tell him you will be the only one in a suit so ask him to not wear a jacket and tie with his kilt and all should work out.

**davidlpope** · 30th December 10, 11:09 AM

Does he wear the kilt as his ordinary "day in, day out" mode of dress? If so, then perhaps his kilt with a broadcloth shirt would work.

If not, then a kilt seems quite out of place. It's not a "Scottish" wedding, not in Scotland, and no other guests will be kilted, I assume. At this point it seems that his choice of attire will serve to make everyone think "why is that guy wearing a kilt?", instead of "my, doesn't the happy couple look lovely?"

Is he a native-born Highlander? Why his desire to wear a kilt at a beach wedding?

Best of luck.

David

**Mark Stephenson** · 30th December 10, 11:12 AM

I assume your brother-in-law and sister will be traveling quite a long way to attend your wedding, and probably at their considerable expense. I suppose that's not really relevant, but it is a reality nevertheless.

In any case - I believe he should wear the kilt for many reasons not the least of which is that it is his natural ethnic heritage. To prevent someone from expressing his or her heritage seems more than a little unfair. Would you ask him not to speak because his Scottish accent might take the spotlight off of you... of course you wouldn't. So, give your blessings to the kilt and celebrate the diversity of your family!

Best wishes for a lovely wedding!

**Spartan Tartan** · 30th December 10, 11:16 AM

You use the phrase, "his "wedding kilt""...I'm not sure what that means. Although, I suspect if he and your sister are aware or level of dress that others will be wearing that he would dress in his kilt accordingly. From what I understand, it is what is worn WITH the kilt that determines the level of dress--not the kilt itself.

Under the circumstances that you describe, I would be perfectly comfortable with him wearing his kilt...in fact, I would rather insist upon it.

Just my 2 cents.

**xman** · 30th December 10, 11:21 AM

It's not the kilt. The devil is in the details. If he comes to your beach wedding in a full Prince Charlie outfit he will not only be upstaging you, but the event as well. Inform him that it is casual day wear and that a jacket isn't even necessary and there are plenty of combinations which would look good.

I say, if he wants to honour your day of union wearing his kilt, let him. Just make sure he knows the dress code.

**BEEDEE** · 30th December 10, 11:53 AM

Kilt, polo shirt and sandals. Would look great.

Brian

**gpmeakin** · 30th December 10, 12:04 PM

I agree that he deserves kudos for asking.
But also in asking he is "admitting" that he feels he might be upstaging you.
I have felt this way before and not worn the kilt in order to avoid attention being focused on me rather than the person or people intended.
A man in a kilt ALWAYS upstages ordinary dressers.
I would just remind him of the casual dress and he should adjust his accordingly.

**Burly Brute** · 30th December 10, 12:16 PM

At the end of the day, it is your wedding. Don't expend to much time thinking about it, but if it truly bothers you I would just talk to him a bit more and see what he is planning.

However, my best advice would be to get married kilted

Good luck on whatever the outcome and

from the kilted Southwest!

**Jock Scot** · 30th December 10, 12:20 PM

Well first of all give your brother in law a big drink! Well done him for asking and not assuming! HE IS SO RIGHT.

He is honouring you with his request to wear his national attire and I think you can trust him to dress accordingly!By that I mean he knows it is going to a fairly casual affair and (I assume) it is going to be fairly warm, so I don't think he is going to turn up in the thickest of tweed! Go on, you are the stars of the show and he knows it, so let him let the kilt loose. May I take this opportunity to wish you, Good luck with your futures.