[davidlpope]

Originally Posted by Farley

First, I am a new to kilt wearing, and have only one in my wardrobe. My first question is; "Is it okay to wear a kilt to a friend's wedding? When is it not okay to wear a kilt to a wedding or family function.

Farley,

Welcome to XMarks. I'm not a Scot, much less a Highland Scot, but I am of Scottish descent, living in the United States. I do not wear my kilts on a daily basis, although some of our members do.

I wouldn't wear a kilt to a wedding unless:

Scenario #1: I'm attending a wedding in the US which is going to be a "Scottish" event- i.e. the families involved are "Scottish", and a number of the bridal party/ family/ guests will be wearing kilts.

Scenario #2: I'm attending a wedding in the Highlands of Scotland and the other guests will be wearing the kilt.

Scenario #3: The bride, groom, or their respective families specifically ask me to wear a kilt and no one's nose will be "out of joint" over it.

I apply the same logic for other similar, "formal-ish" occasions. If the kilt will draw attention away from the purpose of the occasion and put me "in the spotlight", so to speak, I don't wear it. If the kilt will be accepted as an organic part of the event, then I'll wear it.

Best of luck.

Cordially,

David

[Zardoz]

If I am not a member of the wedding party proper, as a guest I will dress appropriately for the time and venue. This was true before I started wearing kilts all the time as well, and this 'appropriate' dress currently includes a kilt!
I do not view the kilt as only a "heritage costume" to be worn at certain times and places.

Farley said it's to be a casual affair, and someone in the party is going to be wearing a Hawaiian shirt, so I'd see that as clearance to dress pretty much any way I see fit!
I have never felt the need to ask the bride, (who has enough to worry about) or the bride's family, (technically the hosts) or anyone else's permission to dress in my usual manner. Do you think the wildly inapproprately dressed folks who always seem to show up at these events asked if it was OK to wear their tube-tops, shorts and crocs?

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Originally Posted by McClef

And if in Scotland, what would you do they if they were not kilted MOR?

Well, for starters, I'd read the invitation and see if some other mode of dress was requested... I have attended one or two very formal weddings where everyone was in morning dress, with nary a kilt in sight. But the reality is that most guests attend weddings in their best-- and most festive-- outfit which, at least in my part of Scotland, is the kilt.

However, in Wales, your social mileage may vary.

[saxandpipes]

Originally Posted by KFCarter

...Others on the forum have made the point that there would be potential that a kilt could upstage the bride...not a good outcome...

If they embrace the idea, then go for it, but do make an attempt to match the level of formality of your kilt kit with that of the other guests...

Exactly!

In my experience its not the kilt itself that causes the bride to be upstaged... but what you wear with it.

No fly-plaids/prince charlies/feather bonnets...

If in doubt, of course, just check with the concerned parties, and maybe let them know that it is also a very flexible item that can be accessorised and dressed-up or dressed-down as appropriate.

Cheers,

Michael

[Kornkob]

Take my father, for instance. At my wedding he wore a kilt but chose a black shirt and white tie, instead of a jacket (it was August) and work a plain black glengary, with a small bit of Juniper attached behind an 'antiqued' clan badge, which he later presented to the bride.

He managed to look quite dashing and appropriately formal without even approaching upstaging the bride.

The best part----everyone knew he was my dad because he was wearing the same tartan.

The worst part--- everyone knew he was my dad when he got sauced and started professing love for everyone. : )

The bar bill on that wedding would have been a monster if we hadn't hosted the reception at home (caterer grilled BBQ ribs on site and we hired a neighbor kid to bartend)

[Mike_Oettle]

Despite your embarrassment, Kornkob, it seems that a good time was had by all.
Regards,
Mike

[Kornkob]

Ah-- how the internetwebtubes strip off all the humor in one's voice: I was joking--- the worst part what that my father is a jovial, loving man? How horrible was that?

Not horrible at all. Quite awesome in fact.

[Mike_Oettle]

Hi, Kornkob – I think I get your drift now. But if your family is anything like mine, it is likely that somebody (usually somebody female) was monstrously embarrassed about it and let everyone know about it!
Regards,
Mike

[Tiny]

I'm a daily kilt wearer now. I have yet to stumble across another in a kilt out side of a Highlands Games event. I was informed in July by 2 of my friends that they had finnaly set a date, and wanted to know if I would like an invitation sent. I told them I would be honored to join them for the wedding.

I did ask them if pants were required for the wedding. To which I was told everyone is expected to wear pants except for me I was to be kilted. Its going to be a very casual wedding as dressed up as I will be is a shortsleeve buttone down shirt (looking for a tattersall) and a hunting sporran maybe a full mask sporran if I have one by then.

I reserve pants for the times I'll be rolling around on the ground or getting really dirty under the car or other messy job aside from that its a kilt now. I feel the frequency of kilt wearing can impact how well its taken at a such events. The fact that I know alot of the bride and grooms parties and the fact that its all I really wear makes it more expected that I wear the kilt.