Dress Code...AGAIN!

[Riverkilt]

Feel ambushed, bushwacked, backstabbed.

This morning my interim clinical supervisor stops by and very reluctantly tells me I can't wear kilts to work anymore...after next Monday. Says its the dress code now. Well, there's been no dress code committee or input and I thought the issue was dead two months ago when my now fired clinical supervisor told me I could wear kilts to work any time I wanted.

What's crystal clear now is that this is coming from the CEO, a man 20 years younger than I and a dapper dresser himself. Talked it over with the interim and he basically said he's just the messenger and wouldn't get involved beyond carrying the message to me and won't carry anything from me back. He's 78 (no misprint) and in poor health, been with the agency for 40 years.

So, printed out a copy of the justification for wearing the kilt from a cultural diversity slant, gender fairness slant, comfort slant, and historical slant. One irony is that the CEO has a very English surname...the same folks who prohibited kilt wearing back in 1746. I put a copy of the old email in both the CEO's box and the CFO's box...basically they're the core management team.

Our agency is funded by Federal dollars filtered through the State...but don't think there's any protection there. Right back to the old part about Arizona being a Right to Work state - meaning the CEO doesn't need a reason to fire anyone.

Figured it was triggered by a planned open house at our new office in Fredonia and some weird fears about offending the Fundamentalist LDS clients/supporters of that office (the folks that dress in what we'd call pioneer style clothes). Told the interim that I had no problem wearing pants to that function next week. He doesn't care.

What's so sad is I had expectations of having developed solid relations with the CEO through the last period of difficulty with the fired clinical director. Boy, was I wrong!

The relayed message was, "We don't care if you wear kilts on your own time." Well thank you very much for that gift.

So dang, don't think my morale could have been deflated faster and more effectively than with this message. So now its for sure Serenity Prayer time. Can I even change this?...if its a power and control issue with the young CEO methinks not.

Even if I could wordsmith a successful argument based on cultural diversity, historical respect, or gender equality I'd still be on the CEOs extended fecal roster for "winning." If I quietly revert to pants don't know how my self-respect/morale will hold up.

Have thought of alternatives such as always wearing tartan shirts with pants. Wearing a sporran with pants like a fanny pack ( the Chief Information Officer wears a fanny pack forward as does our town's City Attorney). Have even ordered a pair of the last of Orvis' tartan trousers in the sage tartan - all they had - and have been guaranteed delivery in time to wear them to the open house next Tuesday. Not sure if that's a confident move or a stupid move that would provoke the CEO.

Bottom line: I just don't need this insanity in my life right now. Things were going good. Had planned to stay with the agency another three years since my credentials now allow me to apply for student loan forgiveness for working in a rural area for two more years...that's a big chunk of change...right around $20K.

And, the Ol' Coyote is working in my life. The Navajo Nation treatment center in town called me this afternoon. Seems like the fired clinical director lady that was gonna take that job didn't work out and they can't open for business until they find a clinical director and want me to apply. I think they'd be even less tolerant of kilts. And even if they were kilt friendly, I've worked there before and the Tribal bureaucracy makes the social security system and veteran's administration look efficient by comparison.

Life was good. Why do I suddenly have to make a decision? What changed over the last two years of kilt wearing? Only possibly negative comment I heard was from a coworker who said some people thought I was gay because I wore kilts. So what? We're a gay friendly agency that employs both closeted and out gays and treats gay clients with dignity and respect.

I've printed out all the stuff and tip sheet from this board and the stuff over at kiltman and some stuff I dug up a few months ago about women's battle to wear pants in the office. Haven't decided to organize it into a presentation for the CEO/management team. Fear even if I made my point, I'd lose in the long run...

My sense, and fear, is that this is a "because I say so" power play from the young CEO.

Told them I gave most of my pants away to our detox facility over a year ago. May have to sell off some kilts to get money to buy (ugh!) pants.

It was a glorious run while it lasted....

Sometimes people are so controlling. Went through this to wear a beard at work in 1970 and again to wear my hair long at work in 1994...

Grumble...grumble...grumble...

Ron

[Erisianmonkey]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this again, Ron. We're all pulling for you.

[brandycr]

Geez all I can say are some people are a**es plain and simple.He probably loves kilts and is afraid to put one on so doesnt want to see you in yours looking all wonderful as we all know kilted men do.Havent a clue what to tell you to do other than buy some ugghhh pants .

[Kilted_John]

Ron,

That blows. Anyway, I hope you're able to talk some sense into said CEO. If not, I'd seriously start looking for other opportunities...

-J

[Robin]

Sad

Good luck Ron!

[cessna152towser]

One wonders how someone of such limited common sense and intelligence ever gained appointment as a CEO. Behaving like a control freak by trying to tell his staff how to dress will only undermine staff morale and his own authority as he loses his right to be respected by acting like this. Oh would that your organisation would see through the CEO just like they saw through the previous clinical supervisor and got rid of her. Can you not appeal to the board of management and let them see that the CEO is clearly overstepping his mark and undermining staff loyalty by trying to bring in a dress code without due consultation. Best of luck with this one and my prayers will be with you.

[Fearnest]

I'd offer to come help with the blanket party (I have soap and boot socks and will travel), but I'm really trying to swear off those things.

My agency has a formal conflict resolution mechanism any employee can trigger - and if it involves a supervisor or management, their involvement is mandatory (if it's a peer to peer issue it's optional). Is there anything similar in the state? Do you have an ombudsman anywhere?

Having said that, I'll also commiserate with you on the right to work status - been there, done that - and the not wanting to pee in the coffee cups of the folks who will still be in charge after all the dust settles.

Sometimes we have to take it one day at a time and look for that new better reality. Not a personal fan of the serenity prayer, but as you know, a lot of folks find great comfort in it.

Big hairy sigh...

[Dreadbelly]

Well, if it is gay friendly, start sporting your new found fabulairity. You're what, about a size 24-26 maybe? Show up for work in a sporty little number. Something low cut and revealing, some nice pumps maybe, and bright red lipstick. Demand that they start calling you Ronda, Queen of the Sagebrush.

Fearnest, don't you know anything? LOCK IN A SOCK. Padlock. Sock. Any questions?

Seriously though. Ron, maybe the Ol Coyote is telling you it is time for a change. Maybe a big one. New directions in life.

We do need a director for the new Tartan Rehab Center being opened soon.

[Harold]

I'd at least ask for the dress-code in writing so you can study it for any loopholes. not much else to add, except for maybe having them define 'pants' (think modesty straps ;-) )

Oh and demand them to raise your pay for the pants you now have to buy?

[fluter]

Obviously, this inhales mightily. A few quick thoughts, more if I have some...
I hate to seem to give advice, given where my own thinking got me (-: boy the cliches are hard to avoid :-). Perhaps what we can offer is perspective.

My reaction would be that I've got to do something immediately. False! I'd probably make the wrong response, or even the right response at the wrong time. :-) It can wait.

This is emphatically Not Ron's Problem. If it were I, and I let it become my problem, I'd be giving Them space in my brain, rent-free :-) as a wise woman once told me.

If my peace of mind depended on the actions or opinions of others, well ... ditto.

BTW I say Them, because it's possible that external pressure is a factor. Possibly that was the proximate cause, and this peremptory nonsense is just Wonder Boy's style of handling it.

Ron, if you were your client I suspect you'd tell you to pray for Wonder Boy, or whatever similar strategy you have in your toolbox.

On a practical note, two/three pairs of navy blue or black Dickies can make a permanent work wardrobe for me. Or Farah khakis in various hues, all for about $18 each.

ON a celebratory note, Kiltie #1 arrived yesterday. Yup, a Sportkilt. In MacGregor, pix TBA.

- Ken by the grace of God serene for now, and kilted

PS not wearing it to work today, I have boss issues!!!! My grand-boss is a McAbee, no problem there---concerned about elsewhere in the tree. I'm thinking in this case permission is much better than forgiveness.