tartan joke

[cajunscot]

Here's a good one found, ironically whilst reading a thread on a music forum about "Waltzing Matilda" (don't ask me how they tied the two together!):

What is the BBC tartan? Answer: Small cheques.

T.

[JS Sanders]

<rimshot> HERE </rimshot>

[Yeti]

I don't know if it's just early or not, but that almost made me spew green tea about my room.

~Yeti

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

That's not only funny, it's true...

[NFL_Kilted_One]

ARGH!

[Arlen]

Uhm...... I don't get it.

[cajunscot]

Uhm...... I don't get it.

Small checks/cheques...meaning pay cheques.

T.

[Chef]

That's not only funny, it's true...

Verrrry true!

[McClef]

Arlen - the BBC is not known for its largesse when it comes to prizes either.

Remember the Blankety Blank cheque book and pen?

Or to celebrate Bruce Forsyth's 80th - the Generation Game cuddly toy?

[Jack Daw]

A visitor form one of the countries other than Scotland arrived in
Edinburg with one thought in mind - to buy a kilt. After some time seeking
he came upon a wonderful little Scottish tartan shop. Going
inside he was met by a pleasant young man who asked him what he could do
for him.

"I would like to buy some tartan and to have a kilt made," the visitor
answered.

"Yes. And which tartan was it you were loking for?" the kindly laddie
asked.

"Well, my name is Dunlop. Do you have a Dunlop tartan?" the vistor
enquired.

"Well Sir, if you'll have a seat for a few minutes I will see if we have
any ," the lad replied.

Young Tom MacCrae went through the swatches carefully and after searching
every one (over 200) he declared to the visitor that he had not located
such tartan but that Mr. MacKenzie, the owner might know where it was.

MacKenzie berated the boy and told him that he was blind and stupid into
the bargain. "the trouble wi' yae iz ye hevnae lived lang eneuch," he
raged. " Get oot the wey an Ah'll geat the maun a tartan that'll dae jist
fine."

Out he goes into the store muttering, "Nae Dunlop tartan indeed! hrmph!"

To the customer he said. "Well, well, Mr. Dunlop, Ah'm very glad to see
you, an' you all the way from Canada. it's Dunlop tartan ye waur seekin?
Aye, well, mebbe Ah van help ye?"
the wily old fellow said.

"But the lad said you had none," Dunlop said.

"AH, Weel he's young an' he's a lot to learn. Let me see whit Ah can do
for ye." the old one said.

Experienced hands riffled through the swatches and suddenly 9 yards of a
beautiful tartan were cut, wrapped and sold to Mr. Dunlop.

After the customer left with his cherished tartan, the confused lad said to the
old man, "Mr. MacKenzie Ah'm surprised that you, an elder in the Kirk and
a former Burgher of this City, wad sell a false tartan to a man who came so
far to get his own tartan!"

"Noo Laddie, Ye ken Ah'm a lot older than yae. Ah hae business experience,
son, an' when yae are as auld as me yae'll ken that Dunlop hae been
MacIntyres for years."