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Craig's Corner: The Humorous side of Kilts and XMTS In honor of XMTS' Kilted Punster Retro Red this subforum is for your best jokes, humorous tales, and (unfortunately) puns. Keep these family friendly, keep them funny, and share them in honor of Retro Red who knew a great many good jokes (and sadly even more awful ones! )

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  #11  
Old 12-30-2009, 09:31 PM
ChubRock's Avatar  
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apple Valley, MN (Twin Cities)
Posts: 591
I goofed McMurdo

Jamie should have gotten the credit (or blame)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Panache View Post
There's a little black spot on my apron today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black glengarry caught in a high tree top
There's a lost fly plaid blowing and the wind won't stop

I have stood here sad and feeling incomplete
Surrounded by angry sheep with threatening bleats
All I want to do is look nice and neat
But it's my destiny to wear angst ridden pleats

There's a little black spot on my apron today
That's my kilt over there
It's the same old tartan as yesterday
That's my kilt over there
There's a black glengarry caught in a high tree top
That's my kilt over there
There's a lost fly plaid blowing and the wind won't stop
That's my kilt over there

I I have stood here sad and feeling incomplete
Surrounded by angry sheep with threatening bleats
All I want to do is look nice and neat
But it's my destiny to wear angst ridden pleats

There's a kilt pin fallen down a high cliff wall
That's my kilt over there
There's a tear in my under apron that’s been there since Fall
That's my kilt over there
There was an unbelievable big sale going on at Scot Web
That's my kilt over there
But I missed it and now my spirits ebb
That's my kilt over there

I have stood here sad and feeling incomplete
Surrounded by angry sheep with threatening bleats
All I want to do is look nice and neat
But it's my destiny to wear angst ridden pleats

There's a Moderator online but it looks like he is out
There's a kiltie who’s looking good but filled doubt
There’s a magnificent sporran I want in a brand new thread
There's an empty wallet that holds only the tears I shed

angst ridden pleats

angst ridden pleats
angst ridden pleats
angst ridden pleats
I'll always have
angst ridden pleats
angst ridden pleats



(With apologies to our fellow kilt wear Sting)
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  #12  
Old 01-19-2010, 09:12 PM
morrison's Avatar  
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 934
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Hippie View Post
You walked into the party
Like you were walkin' onto a yacht
Your kilt strategically dipped below one knee
Your kilt hose were apricot.

You wear your kilt here all the time
And when you don't, it's pants
Your underwear spied by the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend...
and, your short hem
I bet you think your bits are not showing
your short hem
I bet you think your bits are not showing,
showing, showing
  #13  
Old 01-23-2010, 07:21 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Neepawa, Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 2,212
With apologies to "General" Larry Platt, I present this...

Kilt in the air,
Kilt in the air,
Struttin' like a stud
wit' yer kilt in the air.
Women goin' crazy,
Men run off in fear,
Struttin' like a stud
wit' yer kilt in the air!
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  #14  
Old 01-23-2010, 09:17 AM
ChubRock's Avatar  
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apple Valley, MN (Twin Cities)
Posts: 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Kilt View Post
With apologies to "General" Larry Platt, I present this...

Kilt in the air,
Kilt in the air,
Struttin' like a stud
wit' yer kilt in the air.
Women goin' crazy,
Men run off in fear,
Struttin' like a stud
wit' yer kilt in the air!

That's Brilliant!
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"Think On!"
  #15  
Old 02-01-2010, 06:42 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Dallas area
Posts: 1,082
Have any of you guys ever heard of the Royal Stuarts? They have all sorts of parodies some of which include Plaid to the Bone, Well Dressed Scot and one on sporrans (got to look that one up when I get home).

Jim
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  #16  
Old 02-06-2010, 09:44 AM
Smayniac's Avatar  
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drac View Post
Have any of you guys ever heard of the Royal Stuarts? They have all sorts of parodies some of which include Plaid to the Bone, Well Dressed Scot and one on sporrans (got to look that one up when I get home).

Jim
They gave away CDs at Monterey last summer. They are really funny.
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  #17  
Old 02-09-2010, 08:51 PM
BatlRatl's Avatar  
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Way up north, Fl
Posts: 142
(Sorry Don Henley) Tune of boys of summer

They can see me, brown skin shining in the sun;
I stepped on my ghillie strings, tripped in front of ev'ry one.
Rolled down a small hill, ev'rybody see my bum;
Guess my day at the scots game's officially done......
  #18  
Old 02-11-2010, 04:16 PM
ChubRock's Avatar  
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apple Valley, MN (Twin Cities)
Posts: 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by BatlRatl View Post
(Sorry Don Henley) Tune of boys of summer

They can see me, brown skin shining in the sun;
I stepped on my ghillie strings, tripped in front of ev'ry one.
Rolled down a small hill, ev'rybody see my bum;
Guess my day at the scots game's officially done......

Now I'll that stuck in my head for the weekend! Nice job on the parody.
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A proud Great-Great Grandson of the Clan MacLellan from Kirkcudbright.

"Think On!"
  #19  
Old 02-11-2010, 09:12 PM
Oop's it seems this email address is no longer valid
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ogden, Utah USA
Posts: 125
Cheers to all you talented lyricists. Please keep 'em coming, I haven't laughed like this in quite a while. Thanks everyone.
  #20  
Old 03-12-2010, 08:55 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 575
At the NorCal kilt workshop with Elsie last week several of us collaberated on a "Pleat that Kilt" to the tune of Devo's "Crack that Whip." I'll try to recreate the lyrics and post them here.

Bob
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