17th April 12, 08:41 AM
Lawn mower problems
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Animo non astutia
17th April 12, 10:24 AM
Scotland is only 1/5 the size of Montana, but Scotland has over 3,000 castles and Montana has none.
18th April 12, 06:15 PM
McFarkus, Please, Please, PUHLEASE don't make the mistake that I did and let her know that the house needed to be painted at the same time while handing her a Q-tip and some model paint. Not only do I have a limp but I also have a walking staff for exactly why you would think that I would need a walking staff. I really should have stopped with the driveway.
Beware the Kilt! Oh yes, it starts all soft and warm and nice but soon you'll feel a scratch or two. That's the Kilt; it's injecting tartan into your veins.
The need to possess another Kilt starts as a wee thought and builds until you can't think straight. So you buy another Kilt. And the process begins anew.
18th April 12, 07:49 PM
My barbeque gave up the ghost last spring. I dissemble it only to discover the parts were not available for my 15 year old grill. Over the summer and fall my wife and I looked at grills with me bemoaning how expensive they were. This caused my wife no end of grief because she knows when she buys food to grill, I cook.
We order a new grill about ten days ago and it arrived today. We just had lime chicken and it was terrific. The best part is by dragging
my feet on the purchase my wife appreciates having a grill so much she thinks it is her birthday present.
19th April 12, 04:23 AM
Read that to my wife. Too funny!
19th April 12, 04:39 AM
Classic! Nealry just choked on my lunch!
AKA - The Scouter in a Kilt.
Proud, but homesick, son of Skye.
19th April 12, 05:18 AM
Are you kidding? If I read any of these to my wife, she would change the password on the computer and make me sell my kilts.
Still, out, standing in my field.
Never do anything that you would not want to explain to the paramedics.