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Thread: Your worst puns

  1. #11
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    A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.

  2. #12
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    Anyone who doesn't wear a kilt should be tartan fettered.
    Mark Anthony Henderson
    Virtus et Victoria - Virtue and Victory
    "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

  3. The Following 2 Users say 'Aye' to MacEanruig For This Useful Post:


  4. #13
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    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy .
    Mike Montgomery
    Clan Montgomery Society , International

  5. #14
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    One of the worst I have ever heard was of the Scotsman who swallowed a brick, and said "Ah'm awa'."

    (Well, you did ask for it!)

  6. #15
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    Toward the end of his life Mohandas Ghandi, the former Indian prime minister, embraced one of the more ascetic forms of Hindu mysticism. He waked nearly everywhere he went, which caused the formation of remarkably thick and resilient callouses on his feet. His meager diet kept him perilously thin and frail and caused a side effect of severe bad breath.

    Which of course means that he was a super-calloused fragile mystic cursed by halitosis.
    'A damned ill-conditioned sort of an ape. It had a can of ale at every pot-house on the road, and is reeling drunk. "

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  8. #16
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    Where there's a will there's a relative.

    or

    I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt but I couldn't find one.
    Whose coat is that jacket?

  9. #17
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrainReaper View Post
    nothing moooooves me like a splash of cowlogne on my face, I love the smell of fresh dairy-air!
    "Hay", I have no "beef" with you and I don't mean to "milk" it. but this "cud" be the "cattle"yst for the worst cow puns ever "herd".
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  11. #18
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    50 Shades of "Hay"....

    Rev'd Father Bill White: Retired Parish Priest & Elementary Headmaster, lover of God, people (most of them!) dogs, joy, humour & clarity. Legion Padre, theologian, teacher, philosopher, linguist, dreamer, traditionalist, bon-vivant, encourager of hearts & souls & a firm believer in dignity, decency, & duty. A proud Sinclair.

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  13. #19
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    Musician to the audience: "We were going to play our seafood medley but we didn't know how to tuna fish."
    "Simplify, and add lightness" -- Colin Chapman

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  15. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by CameronCat View Post
    Musician to the audience: "We were going to play our seafood medley but we didn't know how to tuna fish."
    I may not be able to tuna fish, but I know that halibut B Flat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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