Kilt top 10 FAQ

[Tattoo Bradley]

I've had this posted in my Myspace blog for months. It just occured to me that that it would be neat to share here. Keep an open mind.... It's supposed to be humorous while still matter-of-factual.

So, it seems the same questions about my kilt seem to come up over and over again.* I realize that it's an odd choice of attire.**While some questions are legitimate, *I really don't understand some of the fixations and fascinations.
1.* What's under the kilt?
This one baffles and aggravates me to no*end.* What is the obsession with this?* I've never been asked if I had on underwear when wearing trousers.* So, why would my wearing or not wearing underwear while kilted be such a curiosity?* Weird.* Still want to know what's under it?* The Loch Ness Monster,*you schmuck.
2.* Why are you wearing a skirt?
It's not a skirt.* Well, ok perhaps it is a "skirt."* BUT, it should be duely noted that it is a man's "skirt."* It is not a skirt in the sense of women's clothing.* Men have lived, fought, and*DIED in these "skirts."* I assure you the stones stashed under a kilt are far more prevelant than those jammed into trousers.* Show some respect!
3. Why are you wearing a "DRESS?"
A kilt is no more a dress than a pair of trousers are overalls.* PISS OFF!
4.* Are you Scottish/Irish?
I am an*American with Scots/Irish heritage.** I have*English heritage too, but I won't often admit to it.*
6.* Do you hail from... over there?
No, I'm a*proud to be*born and bred American who also*happens to be very proud of his Celtic heritage.* But so help me, if Bush had the possibility of being re-elected, I would go rogue and return to the "motherland."*
5.* Where do you buy your kilts?
My kilts are purchased through various kilt makers, all of which can be found on the world wide web.** Some of them are custom, and some of them are "off the peg."* If you are truly interested in a kilt, contact me and I can surely help you find what you are looking for.
6. What does your mother think about you running about dressed as such?
My mother loves and respects me and my decision.* She's grown quite accustom to my eccentricites.
*And your father?
He will never quite understand me.*
7.* Do you play the bagpipes?* Are you performing?* Is there some Scottish/ Irish "thing" going on today?
Sort of, no, and yes.* The "thing" is I'm wearing a traditonal Scottish/Irish garment.
8.* WHY do you wear it?
Comfort and pride.* Period.
9.* What's in that pouch you wear around your waist?
It's called a sporran.* And, it is simply a functional pocket.* Kilts (traditional kilts that is) do not have pockets.* I carry the things you would normally carry in the pockets of your trousers:* car keys, wallet, Ipod etc.
10.* Aren't you cold in that? (asked quite often during inclimate weather)
No, actually the amount of fabric used in a kilt is quite cozy.** The body heat is kept in quite well, especially when full length kilt hose are worn.
*

[Sean_the_Kilted]

Very good and funny. Thanks for sharing

[Mr. Kilt]

Hehehe! I like it!

[Nick]

Very good I especially like 2 and 3.

[Barclay]

Great!

[Perldog007]

Q: Why are U wearing a dress?

A: Because it lures the weak minded in close to ask impudent questions. So close that I can easily smite them and rob them of their silver and pride. (or words to that effect - has worked well for me )

Excellent FAQ! Thanks for sharing.

[Dirk Skene]

I have used a few of these from your MySpace before They are really good bro.

[Raptor]

Great stuff! Certainly saves repeating the same old rebuttals ad nauseum. While I generally answer your " 10.* Aren't you cold in that? (asked quite often during inclimate weather) " the same way that you have, I also often answer "think about it: Scotland is as near as damn it to the Arctic Circle, & the Scots seem to have survived quite well in one form or another for around 5000 years... Does that suggest to you that a kilt is warm & practical?"

[CactusJack]

Those are great, I will have to remember those, Thanks for sharing..

[GMan]

Nice, mighty nice.