Kiltoholics Anonymous

[CDNSushi]

Hi, my name is Jim... And I'm a kiltoholic.

I first started to realize that I might have a problem when, for the first time, last week I received my very first, "Why aren't you wearing a kilt today?" question from a friend. And then, yesterday, my wife, upon seeing me in my UK Original, said, "Looks like we should get you another Utilikilt pretty soon -- they're just perfect for kicking around in on the weekends, huh?" That's when I realized that I have a kiltohol problem.

I can't walk down the street anymore and look at a plaid pattern and start thinking about whether a kilt made from it would look better pleated to the sett or to the stripe. I find myself surfing the net for kilt websites. Some days I wonder if I'll wake up in the morning and find my skin has turned into a MacLaren Ancient tartan.

Excuse me now.. I have to go find me some more kiltohol.


(For those who aren't quite sure, this post was written 100% tongue-firmly-in-cheek. Except for the comments by my wife and friendss Those really did happen.)

[Southern Breeze]

If you're looking for help you wont find it here.

However, we do have help for your kilt addition in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Hang out on X-Marks.
Step 12. Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.

[Livingston]

We do have help for you with your kilt addition in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Hang out on X-Marks.
Step 12. Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.

[Livingston]

SB, you were too quick for me there....

[Packhound]

KA would be about as useful as CA (Chocaholics Anon). Why would anyone want to quit?

[Nighthawk]

We do have help for you with your kilt addition in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Hang out on X-Marks.
Step 12. Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.

It bore repeating.

[Howard Clark]

You are not alone... Always remember that.

[Riverkilt]

I have admitted I'm powerless over kilts, that my life has become unbifurcated...

Ron

[McMurdo]

I came to believe that a Tartan greater than myself could restore me to sanity...

[RockyR]

***from behind the corner of a dark alley in a low grovelly whisper***

PSSST... hey Buddy.... what'cha need? I got'cher leather sporrans, yer hose, yer kilt pins. You need the good stuff? I got'cher 8 yard wool kilts right 'ere...