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  1. #1
    Join Date
    29th October 17
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    Kilts and Gender Identity

    Hi!

    I’ve been an occasional lurker on here since I was a kid. I’m a trans woman, and I’ve been “out” for four years now. Throughout my adolescence, I had an intense fascination with kilts that, in retrospect, I recognize to be deeply intertwined with my repressed feelings of wanting to be a girl. To summarize, I think my early development went something like this:

    1. Wanted to be a girl
    2. Wanted to wear skirts and dresses
    3. Was told it was “wrong” to want this
    4. Found out what kilts were; in my early-childhood brain, thought of kilts as an “acceptably masculine” way to satisfy this desire
    5. Fixated on kilts for this reason


    Before I go on, let me preempt some criticism of this post by stating a few things:

    1. I’m obsessed with Celtic heritage regardless of my history of gender feelings. I’d love kilts even if I weren’t trans.
    2. I am in no way implying that the wearing of kilts for reasons of unresolved gender feelings is at all common. I’m simply checking to see if this seemingly rare (and therefore lonely) experience is something that anyone else shares with me.
    3. While me opening up this topic is not technically “about kilts”, it’s potentially about members of this community, and it’s at the very least about my relationship to kilts… so I hope it’s not seen as “off-topic”.


    But on to my main request: If you’re reading this, and you relate in any way, I’d really like it if you reached out to me. If you feel like your interest in kilts originates — even only partially — in private or painful feelings related to your gender identity, I’d love to get a DM about it. As a side note, I’m very serious about privacy.

    The reason I suspect that I’m “not the only one” is that a couple years ago, a man I knew who was really interested in kilts confided in me that he contemplated transitioning in an earlier (and less tolerant) time. He told me that kilts are really all he has to help him feel OK about his life, which I found heartbreaking but also relatable and deeply moving. Because this garment that tons of people are passionate about for a hundred different and equally compelling reasons is quite possibly even secretly saving lives.

    If you prefer email, mine is margal[at]protonmail.com

    Thanks, everyone, for your openness to this unconventional and potentially sensitive topic.

    —M

  2. #2
    Join Date
    24th September 04
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    Victoria, BC Canada 48° 25' 47.31"N 123° 20' 4.59" W
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    If I may interject a gentle caution.

    We all know and recognize that the issue of gender is changing in our world. We all also know and understand that there are many reasons that people choose to wear a kilt.

    Some see it as a very male garment, some see it as a heritage statement, and some see it as something else. Your reason is yours.

    But X Marks started because of this issue of the kilt being seen as an 'alternative' to something else. An alternative to trousers or an alternative to a dress.

    Back in the early 2000's there was a site called "Tom's Cafe". Tom's was part of the "Men's Fashion Freedom" movement.
    Those who wear a kilt had very few places to go back in those days and some kilt wearers found Tom's.

    Before long Tom's changed and those who choose to wear what society has branded as "Women's clothing" items began to become predominant. Before long almost all the topics were about men's sized "Mary Jane" shoes and the wearing of frilly panties under a kilt.

    When our founder, Hank started X Marks it began as a simple place for him to post some photos of the ways people dress at Highland Games. You know, the guy with his kilt on backwards or with the kiltmakers basting stitches still in place. And there is always the guy dressed like "Braveheart".

    Soon those who had been chased away from Tom's began to post here. The very first rule of X Marks was "This is a kilt site. It is not a site for the discussion of 'cross-dressing.'."

    This is still our Rule #9 – This forum is not the place for the discussion of cross-dressing.

    The reason a member of this forum chooses to wear a kilt are theirs, and theirs alone. The topic of X Marks is the kilt itself.

    But discussions about the 'why' are perhaps left to the Personal Message (PM) section of the forum and not the public sections.
    If anyone wishes to discuss the issue of "Gender Identity" with the OP, they have kindly posted their email address.

    I don't think I would agree with the OP that this is an 'unconventional' issue. We all know and recognize the issue. But I strongly agree that it is a potentially sensitive issue and perhaps best discussed between members personally.
    Steve Ashton
    Forum Owner

  3. The Following 3 Users say 'Aye' to Steve Ashton For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Join Date
    3rd September 18
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    Thank you for a sensitive reply to a possibly difficult subject, Steve. I don’t think I have anything to contribute beyond saying that identifying any Scottish traditional masculine dress in any other way is anathema to anyone of a Scottish background. I have no doubt that some individuals regard it as a quasi-feminine form of dress and that may well be their motivation for selecting it as a halfway house to their chosen direction. All that I would say is that such a motivation is a calumny to anyone with a Scottish tradition.

  5. #4
    Join Date
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    Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, and for leaving this thread up :~)

    To clarify, I don't think men who wear kilts for the reasons that I did are "cross-dressers". After all, they're opting not to cross-dress, because they are choosing to wear a men's garment. But I understand this post's proximity to a historical issue within your forum, as well as the potential for negativity or off-topic contention that could result — so I completely understand and appreciate your interjection!

    Best,
    M

  6. #5
    Join Date
    24th September 04
    Location
    Victoria, BC Canada 48° 25' 47.31"N 123° 20' 4.59" W
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    As I said, a potentially sensitive subject.

    And I will re-inforce my statement. The reason "why" is up to the individual member.

    But honestly, should I need to remind our members of -

    Rule #2
    –-We believe in fostering polite discussion. Posts which provoke quarrels, escalate contention, or are hostile or insulting, are subject to removal.

    One post to this thread has been temporarily removed In Accordance With (IAW) Rule #2 and that post flagged.
    Last edited by Steve Ashton; 7th September 18 at 12:31 PM.
    Steve Ashton
    Forum Owner

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  8. #6
    Join Date
    7th February 11
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    Thread closed pending discussion by the forum moderators.
    Rev'd Father Bill White: Retired Parish Priest & Elementary Headmaster, lover of God, people (most of them!) dogs, joy, humour & clarity. Legion Padre, theologian, teacher, philosopher, linguist, dreamer, traditionalist, bon-vivant, encourager of hearts & souls & a firm believer in dignity, decency, & duty. A proud Sinclair.

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