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  1. #1
    Join Date
    13th June 07
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    Odd feeling kilted

    Most of my posts have been opinions on other posts or questions, (sincere and sometimes stupid I'm afraid,) but this one is different. This past weekend, we celebrated my mother's 75th birthday. My brothers and I flew her and my dad into Atlanta for the weekend and then surprised her by having her brothers and sister here as well. Friday night was just casual, pizza, and wine, (maybe a little too much wine.) Now the family knows I have a kilt, but this was news to my uncle's new SO. She was facinated by this it seemed, (turns out she goes to the games at Estes in Colorado every year, whoopee! a place to stay out west and the chance to go to another games.) So last night I wore the kilt when we went to meet everyone at my brother's place. Nice compliments from almost everyone, except my brothers, mom and dad. They didn't say anything. I started to feel like they didn't think it was appropriate. It was like they thought I was trying to "show off." I don't know if this is my own insecurity or if for some reason they really think it's odd that I wear a kilt. I know, "wear it proudly and don't worry about what others think," but that's a little more difficult when it's your immediate family. Just can't seem to gauge a "no-response," response. Also not sure what I expected anyway.

    David
    "I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal."
    Grouch Marx

  2. #2
    James MacMillan is offline Membership Revoked for repeated rule violations.
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    For me the "No Response" response is what I strive for. That would seem to say, to me, that it is accepted.

    Surely your family is comfortable enough with you to say what they think?

    Of course, if you are wearing the kilt in the hopes of getting comments, then maybe my comment doesn't make sense to you.

    For me, that't not why I wear the kilt.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    21st December 05
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    Maybe the brothers and mum and dad just made no comments because they already know you sometimes wear a kilt. I wouldn't read anything negative into them not offering any positive comments.
    Vice-President and Regional Director for Scotland for Clan Cunningham International, and a Scottish Armiger.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    25th May 07
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    Cathedral City, CA.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiltedsawyer View Post
    So last night I wore the kilt when we went to meet everyone at my brother's place. Nice compliments from almost everyone, except my brothers, mom and dad. They didn't say anything. I started to feel like they didn't think it was appropriate. It was like they thought I was trying to "show off." I don't know if this is my own insecurity or if for some reason they really think it's odd that I wear a kilt.
    David, first of all, how nice of you to do that for your parents. Be glad you still have them around.

    As far as their lack of reaction, I'd prefer to believe that they've come to accept the kilt as the norm for you, and just treat it as if you were wearing those boring slacks. If you still feel they were reacting in a negative manner, I think it speaks more about their own insecurity, not yours. I would pretend that it never happened and continue wearing your kilt whenever and wherever you want. If there indeed is a problem on their part, it will come out eventually and you'll have an opportunity to discuss it with them. In the meantime, enjoy the new connection with your bro's SO, and be proud of what you did for your folks.
    Regards,
    RB

  5. #5
    Join Date
    10th December 06
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    I have gone through the same thing with my family, however the kilt is no longer a novelty to them or me, it is simply what I choose to wear. Now when I don't get a comment it is because my family has accepted my kilt wearing as a matter of course.

  6. #6
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    5th September 05
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    Wha's the old saying? "You have not converted a man just because you have silenced him."

    That's a heavy handed way to say it but I've gotten that silent forbearance as well...that sort of "I'm not going to say anything now but when he leaves we have to talk about how weird he's getting" silence.

    So...anyway...there seems to be that thing of people thinking that this is some kind of anguished cry for attention. Poor deluded bastards. I think that a lot of the folks around me have this idea...it's augmented by the assumption that middle-aged men have some kind of crisis going on that makes them do wacky things. I just had a fancy for a kilt and found that wearing it was fun and a nice change of pace...I wear jeans most of the time and a kilt some of the time...why these people think that it's a cry for help, I'll never know...but too bad for them. Actually, the kilt has sort of filled in a gap in the way that I dress...I was either ultra casual or ultra formal...now I have the kilt for those in-between events where I'd be considered disrespectful if I showed up in jeans and overdressed if I showed up in a suit. That doesn't stop some of the attitude but I have been known to say, "Here I am honoring your event by wearing my nice kilt and you have to give me $#!+ about it...thanks alot."

    My advice: just carry on and act like it's normal...don't get into long discussions about it because it'll only make it more of an issue.

    One of my "party lines" about wearing the kilt is this: look around...there are people wearing their pants down around their knees, people wearing their pajama pants and scuffs out in freezing winter weather, etc....these people actually go out in public like this...how does a guy neatly dressed in a kilt look relative to that? Gimme a break!

    Best

    AA

  7. #7
    Join Date
    22nd August 07
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    I hear ya, and while James Mac and Cessna are being "glass half full", I get the same response from my family -- and it's for the other reasons. Unfortunately, my mother/father/brother, while all of Scottish descent and fairly interested in family history are very socially conservative, and see wearing a kilt in about the same light as me (years ago) coming home from college with a ponytail. they just don't get it / "approve" of it / are embarrased / etc.

    That's okay with me, as I've been shocking them for years. What's worse, is my WIFE (about the most "immediate" family I have) hates the kilt. First off -- she's an amazing woman, and we're very much in love. We share a lot of interests, and have a great time together. But, she has no interest in history/culture, and (cover your ears) thinks kilts are women's clothing, thinks i'm being a "male slut" because I go Regimental "Oh my God!, That's so unsanitary! And, what would you think if I wore a skirt out in public w/ no panties!" , etc. etc.

    The only approach I've been able to come up with is to SLOWLY, GRADUALLY expose her to really good, proper representations of other kilted men (like, Sir Sean, Princes Charles, proper Burn's Supper gatherings, etc.). She's still not on board, but over time, I hope she'll come around.

    I don't know, man. Don't let the "haters" get ya down!

  8. #8
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    Ya done good to host the celebration for your folks. If it was the first time kin has seen you in a kilt they coulda just been surprised.

    My family had a wake for my mother back in January. Big gathering of 30 or so kin of all ages. Was kilted full time. But I'd "prepped" them in advance with pics and talk of kilts. And, wore clan tartans.

    Bottom line, you stood tall.

    Way I look at it, what other people think of me kilted is none of my business.

    Ron
    Ol' Macdonald himself, a proud son of Skye and Cape Breton Island
    Lifetime Member STA. Two time winner of Utilikiltarian of the Month.
    "I'll have a kilt please, a nice hand sewn tartan, 16 ounce Strome. Oh, and a sporran on the side, with a strap please."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    22nd November 07
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    If they didn't like it, they will probably make comments to other family members at some point. Those comments seem to get back to you eventually, so you'll probably find out what was going on through the family grape vine.

  10. #10
    James MacMillan is offline Membership Revoked for repeated rule violations.
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    Brings to mind a story.

    I was to meet a gentleman that I didn't know, and we were working through an intermediary, I forget why, anyway, we had a time and place, and I had his name, and nuthin' else.

    I'm at the location and time, and I'm looking around for someone else who is looking around, and I haven't spotted anybody. I’m beginning to wonder what to do – make a sign? Public address announcement? Start yelling his name? Start asking all the people there if they are the individual? I was about ready to try all these things when then this gentleman enters the room, glances around the room and immediately comes over to me and introduces himself.

    Not “Hello, are you….” Just “Hi, I’m……”

    Later I asked how he knew me, and he had been told to look for the guy in the kilt. No one asked me if I was going to be kilted, they just accepted the fact that I always am.

    Neat, now that I think back.

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