I'll get the hang of this in time, till then, just try to humour me, or ignore me
For the bloke who wanted to know what to do in the pub when confronted with strangers of either gender taking a gander up his kilt. My suggestion is to get a couple of tattoos : on your butt you could have 'if you like what you see, tell your friends' and on the genitalia : ' deluxe model, extra large only'. A chap goes to the doctors, he's got dreadfully dry skin on his groin area. The doctor says 'How long have you been wearing a kilt?'
"A few months" says the chap
'It's not that then', says the doc, 'How about the sporran?'
"Only a few days'
The doctor looks inside the sporran and smiles, "There's the problem, you've left the silica gel in!'
It's Friday night, let's have a drink and a few friends over, no, let's have a few drinks and a friend over, dammit, how many drinks can I have if I don't have any friends over?
Loch Ness, Loch Lomond, Loch A Dar, Wizzit?
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