Sporran bites woman?

**Chas** · 13th July 09, 11:33 AM

I was at the Harpenden Highland Gathering this Sunday and observed the following:

A family of four, father, mother, two sons (~ 8 + 12). Father is in the solo piping competition and looks quite dapper (worthy of Panache). Mother is in a light and airy dress and wearing a sash in the same tartan as her husband's kilt. Two sons wearing Black Watch tartan kilts, white shirts and ties; the only difference between them is the sporran. The 8 year old wears a plain brown, whereas his brother sports a full face, fox mask, sporran.

They are watching the falconry display, when the father says he is going to the piping area to sign in. Mother says she and the boys will follow when display is over. He goes; they stay.

The display comes to an end and the three start to move off; mother then 8 year old, lastly, and slightly delayed, the 12 year old.

At this moment a large troupe of scantily clad, young teen, female dancers are passing the 12 year old on their way to the stage.

One of them notices the full face sporran and cries out "Oh look, How cute." The boy is now stopped in the middle of this bevy of girls who are all stroking and patting and petting his sporran. They were in the main, all very good looking and taller than him. He is very much the centre of attraction and is answering all their questions in a soft Scots accent quite maturely for one of his age.

One by one having finished patting and petting and stroking the young ladies carried on towards the stage. From the crowd that had gathered, their places were taken by older females, who were not scantily clad and young and in the main not as attractive as the ones which had just left (certainly not attractive to a 12 year old).

The last in line was (be generous, Chas) 39ish. The bar on site had been open since first light and she had obviously spent too much time there already. She was crouched down on her haunches, doing the petting and patting and stroking but added to this she was chatting to the sporran as well. She had obviously forgotten that the owner was a child and some of her remarks were near to the knuckle - not rude, but not how you would talk to a 12 year old.

At that moment, a wonderful thing happened - the whole world stopped talking and there was a pregnant silence.

We all have limits to our patience and the boy's was stretched to breaking point. It was at that precise moment that the boy decided to make his move.

He thrust his crotch forward and at the same time barked loudly at the woman. She, seeing a fox's mask charging towards her and hearing the barking leaped backwards.

The boy looking down at her said "Tsk Women!" Turned on his heel and was gone.

She, on her back, was appealing to the public at large "Did you see that! It Bit Me. It Bit Me. Why are you all laughing?"

That's the moment that the whole world started talking again.