When Sporran attacks

**Raphael** · 25th September 09, 10:24 AM

I went to Nova Scotia to be part of a wedding party recently. The bride and groom dressed all the men in black kilts, Jacobite shirts, white hose, black flashes and rabbit fur semi-dress sporrans with tassels.

The outfit was great looking with the exception of the sporrans because it attacked me. I quickly believe that the sporran has some kind of defensive device to prevent users from taking things out of them.

When I received the sporran back in August, I didn't take it out of the package in fear of ruining it. I wanted it to look good on the wedding day. That was a big mistake. I should have taken it out of the package and examine for any hazards.

On my friends' wedding day, I was the Man of Honour for the bride and I had the pleasure to hold on to her ring and her Cigarettes. The ring was easy as I had in on my finger. However, the cigarettes needed to be in the sporran.

I had no problem the whole day getting the death sticks out of the sporran. As the day went on and more beer, the sporran finally got me. One of the sharp metal rings stabbed the tip of my middle finger. Other than dropping my drink at the head table, I managed to hold my composure. I got my hand out quickly in fear of another attack, I went to the back the hall. Luckily, the brother in law of the groom is a trained police officer and a army reserve, he had no problem patching me up quickly with some invisible bandages.

The pain was gone quickly followed by another can of Alexander Keith's.

I arrived home in BC a few days ago and I took the sporran out of the suitcase to see if there is anything that I can do to tame this sporran beast. I could easily changed out the metal rings for rings with smooth edges, but that would cost me money. I know that they will be under a dollar, but I am cheap. I reached for a roll of Duct Tape and I solved the problem. A few inches of the silver tape were enough to cover the sharp edges and made future entry safe.

During this operation, I also noticed the metal thistles on the flap has lots of sharp edges. It can easily be used as a weapon. I reached for a piler to remove the washer to free this potential weapon. Without it, the sporran has a hole in the middle of the flap and I need to find something to cover it.

The sporran may took the first bite, but I had the last laugh!