thank you

[DWFII]

I hope it will not be taken amiss if I say "thank you" for the recent additions to the Penalty Box.

It is interesting, revealing, and educational to review how a thread goes bad. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to bed at night thinking everything was hunky-dory, only to wake up in the morning and find that the thread has been "moved." And no way to know what went wrong.

For my part, I appreciate it...

[ccga3359]

Keep trying to post in the threads moved to the penalty box because I've got sooooooo much more to say .

[Colonel MacNeal]

It does seem like the most interesting threads are doomed for the dumpster.

[KFCarter]

It does seem like the most interesting threads are doomed for the dumpster.

I can see how you would feel that way. You can often sense threads pushing at the boundaries and I doubt you'd ever get complete consensus on exactly where those boundaries should be. So when one goes away, there will be those who will be disappointed... guaranteed.

I do think boundaries are necessary; we have them everywhere. In our own homes the are usually topics considered not "suitable for the dinner table," there are things you would talk about in church, or with your dentist, things you wouldn't say to an elder or to your own grandchild. And with a group as diverse as ours in every way (gotta love that!) the boundaries about what's "suitable" are going to be tricky to manage.

I think the seeds for this problem are rooted in the success of XMTS in creating a sense of community. The community has come together around the subject of kilts, and a lot of genuine respect and interest has developed between members in those discussions.

I think it's natural that members begin to want to engage their friends here on other subjects... things that have deeper personal meaning, etc. Just look at how many times a member in personal crisis has reached out for moral support and shared personal challenges with us... and has received that moral support in spades! I think it's the same sense of community and trust that drives the impulse for members to stray into other subjects that matter to them and that push the boundaries.

So... I actually think the fact that this happens quite a bit is not a sign of malicious intent or bad behavior, but instead a sign that people feel at home enough here to reveal thoughts and feelings about more sensitive things than kilt-length or tartan choices. That doesn't mean the boundaries aren't necessary, but it does underscore how difficult and thankless the job can be maintaining them. And also maybe suggests that the "offenders" aren't necessarily meaning to be offensive. I'm glad to see the penalty box used because I think it can help "thread that needle" of trying to keep the boundaries in place, but still allow some light to shine on those subjects that strayed over the line.

Just one man's opinion and offered as a reminder that some of the signs of stress we experience come because XMTS isn't just a typical forum to most of us, it's a place we really invest a part of ourselves in...

Slainte ya'll

Ken

[Phil]

Couldn't agree more. It is so frustrating to find that an interesting thread has disappeared without trace because of somebody's subjective view of the direction it is heading. OK so somebody stepped over some (undefined, subjective, and arbitrary) line but how does that justify wiping the rest of an interesting thread out of existence?

[DWFII]

I think it's natural that members begin to want to engage their friends here on other subjects... things that have deeper personal meaning, etc. Just look at how many times a member in personal crisis has reached out for moral support and shared personal challenges with us... and has received that moral support in spades! I think it's the same sense of community and trust that drives the impulse for members to stray into other subjects that matter to them and that push the boundaries.

Very well said! Thank you.

[Riverkilt]

One of the things that keeps life interesting is we usually locate boundaries by crossing them - "Ooops, that's too far, need to reign it back." Sort of like bracketing artillary fire.

Always wondered why the penalty box was at the bottom of the list of forums. If it was up top under the announcements then it'd be easy to see where the "interesting" forums have disappeared to.

Ron

[McMurdo]

Ladies and Gentlemen

Recently the general consensus of the membership expressed an interest in the Penalty Box, we the moderating staff have heard these calls and thus we have made an effort to utilize that long neglected resource. Inclusion in the penalty box is not the mark of an interesting thread, it is in fact the mark of a thread which has somehow crossed the line, it is an indication of the failure to show restraint and respect for the members and rules of this online community.

It is hoped that if you delve into the threads now residing in the penalty box that you notice where it was that the thread went off the rails, the digression or change in tone that set the course for the rest of the topic.

Please note it is hoped that members learn from this and ensure that when a post is added it actually contributes to the thread and the knowledge, fellowship, and good will that characterizes X Marks the Scot.com.

Sincerely
The Moderating Staff
of XMarkstheScot.com

[BEEDEE]

One of the things that keeps life interesting is we usually locate boundaries by crossing them - "Ooops, that's too far, need to reign it back."
Ron

Ron - I have to disagree with you here. Your analogy is like walking up to the edge of the Grand canyon and stepping over. It's too late to do anything then. Most of us would rather get close to the edge and look over, then decide that crossing the boundary would not be a good thing to do.

Best,

Brian

[KFCarter]

It is hoped that if you delve into the threads now residing in the penalty box that you notice where it was that the thread went off the rails, the digression or change in tone that set the course for the rest of the topic.

Please note it is hoped that members learn from this and ensure that when a post is added it actually contributes to the thread and the knowledge, fellowship, and good will that characterizes X Marks the Scot.com.

Sincerely
The Moderating Staff
of XMarkstheScot.com

Well put... and precisely why it's a good thing to have.