Let the Pun begin!

**Panache** · 17th August 09, 03:08 PM

Here is one for Retro Red to start things off that is perfectly appropriate for any Burns' Night (provided you aren't planning on coming back the next year)

I know a man named Mr. Lang
and he has a neon sign
Well Mr. Lang is very old
so they call it "Old Lang's Sign"

If you think that was bad just think folks....

...That was just the beginning!

LET THE PUN BEGIN!!!

Cheers

Jamie

ith:

**McMurdo** · 17th August 09, 03:20 PM

OK here goes:

'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'

'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'

'Is it common ?'

'Well, It's Not Unusual.'

**sydnie7** · 17th August 09, 03:21 PM

While knitting a pair of kilt hose for Bob recently, I caught an awful head cold. I tried to be very careful about washing my hands after sneezing, etc., so as not to knit any germs into the hose. Wouldn't want him to get. . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
COLD FEET!

**The Guy in the Kilt at UC** · 17th August 09, 03:47 PM

**The Guy in the Kilt at UC** · 17th August 09, 04:08 PM

At the train station, one half of the manually operated level crossing gate was open and the other half closed. When the duty signalman was asked why, he replied "Well, I'm half expecting a train".

**The Guy in the Kilt at UC** · 17th August 09, 04:11 PM

A lady who had been burgled was surprised when an insurance assessor told her that it was not just a question of writing a cheque for her losses. The company would undertake to replace items which had gone. "In that case," said the lady, "I think I'll cancel the insurance policy I took out on my husband."

**Paul** · 17th August 09, 04:32 PM

I used to think I was indecisive... but now I'm not so sure!

**GDub** · 17th August 09, 04:53 PM

It's not a skirt, it's a kilt! Why?... 'Cause if you call it a "skirt", you might get kilt.

**george7** · 17th August 09, 05:13 PM

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

**piperdbh** · 17th August 09, 05:21 PM

Kermit Jagger walks into the bank asking for a loan. The teller, Patricia Whack, asks what he has for collateral. He shows her a snow globe. She asks the bank manager if she can make the loan on such collateral, and the manager says,

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack.
Give the frog a loan;
His old man's a Rolling Stone!"