this requires a little bit of set-up, or you can "wing it"

"When Andy and Bob spoke with me about offering this toast, I could not believe my good fortune. As a young boy I was glued to the TV each week for her show, and who among us wasn’t thrilled by the adventures she had with Timmy, or wouldn’t want June Lockhart for their Mom?"

Andy or Bob come up and whisper in my ear

"Oh, no…this isn’t a toast to Lassie?...seems I have made a serious error…"

Throw out several pages

(i did this as a poem)

We gather on this wintry night
To honor Burn’s bright shining light
And perhaps to share a bite
And a wee dram or two

But what’s a night without a lass
Rabbie Burns himself would dare not pass
The chance to grab himself ...a glass
And drink the health of me and you

Now Rabbie had himself an eye
Seems he never let a day go by
He’d have some lass swoon my-oh-my
Name of Jean, or Mary, if he knew….

So on this night we note his life
And celebrate our lass or wife
Without whom what would life be like
Do we really want to know?

So join me lads, lift up your glasses
And toast the health and beauty of all our lasses!

To the lasses!

the crowd seemed to enjoy it...