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  1. #1
    Join Date
    21st May 08
    Location
    Inverness-shire, Scotland & British Columbia, Canada
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    Healthy Insanity

    To maintain a healthy level of insanity:

    1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
    2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
    3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
    4. Put decaf in Steve's coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once he has gotten over his caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
    5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Marijuana'.
    6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
    7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
    8. Wear your kilt – and sporran -- back-to-front for a whole day. Tell anyone who notices that he is mistaken.
    9. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'To Go'.
    10. Sing along at the opera.
    11. Five days in advance of your friends' party, tell them that you can't attend because you have a headache.
    12. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
    13. When leaving the zoo, look back and then start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'
    14. Tell your children over dinner that due to the economy you are going to have to let one of you go.

    And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

    15. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    10th March 11
    Location
    Fort Knox, KY
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    Would anyone be bothered that I've done a few of the above?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    10th June 10
    Location
    USA
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    HAHAHAHAA!

    I'll have to make a note of some of these!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    24th July 07
    Location
    Spotsylvania, Virginia USA
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    I need those laughs! Thands, Rex.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    22nd November 07
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    US
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    I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
    Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…

  6. #6
    Join Date
    7th July 09
    Location
    Melbourne,Victoria Australia
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    Made my day Rex
    Shoot straight you bastards. Don't make a mess of it. Harry (Breaker) Harbord Morant - Bushveldt Carbineers

  7. #7
    Southern Breeze's Avatar
    Southern Breeze is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
    Join Date
    28th August 05
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    I really needed a laugh today. Thanks for posting that!


  8. #8
    Join Date
    5th November 08
    Location
    Marion, NC
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    I read some of these to my students today, and only had to explain three of them!
    --dbh

    When given a choice, most people will choose.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    4th November 10
    Location
    Arizona
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    Hahahaha thank you for that mate! That just made my day at work!
    [-[COLOR="DimGray"]Floreat Majestas[/COLOR]-|-[COLOR="Red"]Semper Vigilans[/COLOR]-|-[COLOR="Navy"]Aut Pax Aut Bellum[/COLOR]-|-[I][B]Go mbeannai Dia duit[/B][/I]-]
    [COLOR="DarkGreen"][SIZE="2"]"I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels."[/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]- John Calvin[/B]

  10. #10
    Join Date
    24th September 04
    Location
    Victoria, BC Canada 48° 25' 47.31"N 123° 20' 4.59" W
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    Brian,
    I think you've been giving lessons to this little girl.



    http://www.youtube.com/user/youngdir.../c/1qLe9OKCxTQ
    Steve Ashton
    Forum Owner

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