Military Wisdom

[tkdog]

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder...

[jgcunningham]

From my USAF dad:

A landing is when the plane contacts the ground.
A good landing is when the pilot survives the plane contacting the ground.
A very good landing is when the pilot is able to fly again.
An excellent landing is when the pilot and the plane are both able to fly again.

[Nighthawk]

I have a cousin-in-law in the Air Force. I sent these along to him because I know he'll get a laugh.

[The Thirsty Viking]

For the Aviation guys:

"Aviation Maintenance: using a High School diploma to fix what a college degree just F!@#ed up."

"If it aint leakin, it's empty"

"If it aint broke, fix it till it is"

[Whidbey78]

For the Aviation guys:

"Aviation Maintenance: using a High School diploma to fix what a college degree just F!@#ed up."

"If it aint leakin, it's empty"

"If it aint broke, fix it till it is"

As a former AM1 I know #2 to be universally true, though many nuggets won't buy it. I wouldn't fly if the drip pans were dry.

We used to say "It takes a PhD to design an aircraft, a Bachelors to break it, and a GED to fix it."

[sydnie7]

For the Aviation guys:

"Aviation Maintenance: using a High School diploma to fix what a college degree just F!@#ed up."

"If it aint leakin, it's empty"

"If it aint broke, fix it till it is"

Corollaries (shared with the automotive world):

If it moves, duct-tape it. If it doesn't move, WD40 it!

[ErikGarrett]

The best job for a new private or new lieutenant on an M1 Abrams it to take a piece of chalk and a ball peen hammer and spend the morning looking for soft spots in the armor. Once complete, jumping on the turret to check the shocks isn't a bad idea either.

[Charlie Mc.]

The scariest things in the Marine Corps:

1. A private saying "I learned this in bootcamp."
2. A second lieutenant saying "Based on my experience"
3. A Gunnery Sergeant nudging you and saying "watch this s***".

[Whidbey78]

The best job for a new private or new lieutenant on an M1 Abrams it to take a piece of chalk and a ball peen hammer and spend the morning looking for soft spots in the armor. Once complete, jumping on the turret to check the shocks isn't a bad idea either.

We used to have NUB's(Non-Useful Bodies) take "exhaust samples" from the jet--basically standing in the wash with a trashbag-- and take them to the lab at the med clinic for testing. Or send them to admin for an ID10T form...or send them to supply for fifty yards of flightline...or to HAZMAT for military bearing grease...or to the Ready Room for the keys to one of the planes...or to maintenance control for the key to the gust-lock...or to tell maintenance control that aircraft 702 needs a new "stick actuator"...or GU11 watch.

Those were fun, but if you didn't like the guy you could send him to the Chief's Mess to wash the coffee cups and coffee pot. That one never went over well with the khakis!! I think the bodies are buried on the golf course at North Island.

[bigdad1]

In combat, true happiness is always a belt-fed weapon
If it worked in practice, it will fail in combat.
Interchangeable parts aren't
Friendly fire isn't
Insect repellents don't
Experience in combat is something you never have enough of until after you need it.