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20th February 12, 09:22 AM
#1
British Hospitality
Ralph, an American, age 72, is visiting London for the first time. He decides to skip the afternoon tour & explore the city on his own.
He wanders around, seeing the sights & occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads & have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood. Big, stately residences ... No pubs, no stores, no restaurants & worst of all ... No public toilets.
He really, really has to go, after supping all that Guinness & all the trouble with his prostate.
Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings & decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "But I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."
He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the Bobby. "Anywhere you want."
Ralph enters & finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself & is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you.That is what I call 'British hospitality'"
"No sir," replied the Bobby, "That is what we call the French Embassy."
Regional Director for Scotland for Clan Cunningham International, and a Scottish Armiger.
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20th February 12, 09:46 AM
#2
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20th February 12, 09:50 AM
#3
Re: British Hospitality
bad boy
Originally Posted by Pleater
Weeelll - once I was walking along the row of shops near us and passed a young couple, she was wearing a narrow strip of denim for a skirt and a couple of handkerchieves worth of fabric for a blouse and it was losing the fight to stay closed - I was almost out of earshot when he enquired 'why doesn't your skirt move like that?' Anne the Pleater
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20th February 12, 10:06 AM
#4
Re: British Hospitality
I actually chortled. very good
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20th February 12, 10:50 AM
#5
Re: British Hospitality
that's one of those jokes that I could put on facebook and get lots of "I don't get it" responses...
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20th February 12, 11:20 AM
#6
Re: British Hospitality
That's funny. Makes you wonder what the French do to the British Embassy.
I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…
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