"It's not really a tartan then is it"

[Downunder Kilt]

ETA: And the ones we write are called checques, not checks

I think the word is cheques.

[tundramanq]

O'Callaghan, You got me to look it up in my 1981 (US) Webster's dictionary:
"Plaid n [ScGael plaide]
1: a rectangular length of tartan worn over the left shoulder as part of the Scottish national costume.
2 a: a twilled woolen fabric with a tartan pattern. b: a fabric with a pattern of tartan or an imitation of tartan
3 a: TARTAN b: a pattern of unevenly spaced repeated stripes crossing at right angles."

In the US the common usage away from the Gaelic community is, pretty much, 3b.
Plaid and checkered or checked pattern seems pretty interchangeable here. Since I started wearing the kilt, I have been differentiating "a plaid" from "the plaid" by using tartan instead. Living languages - Aarg!

[thistlespinner]

I suspect that the guy lays awake at night thinking of things to say, & what does that say about his wife?

[MAJMike]

The guy's a rude dufus. Who made him All High Expert Laird of All Things Celtic?

[IGA]

You could have informed him that it is registered with the Scottish Tartan Authority and watched the snarkiness melt from his face. That would have been quite the sight!

[Laird_M]

I used to have a small card taped to the wall next to the light switch in my classroom: "Never attribute to malice that which can be satisfactorily explained by sheer stupidity."

Classic!
You do get some right eedjyots out there. At our New Year Blessing yesterday I was asked by a 'lady' if we'd just returned from "that Scottish Party" in Edinburgh or somewhere. Took a little while for the idea that someone would choose to wear a kilt for a non-Scottish event to sink in and that although its a MacLeod of "Harris" tartan, my name isn't Rolf...