Being asked THE question

[DyerStraits]

I'm going to respond but first I'm going to apologize for going on a bit of a rant.

I personally think that "The Question" is rude and offensive. If I were to ask the same question of a woman I could go to jail.

I personally gave up answering or trying to be cute or have a snappy response about five years ago after hearing if for the 10,000th time.

Today if I am asked by a woman I respond seriously with "Would it be appropriate if I asked you something like that?"
If I am asked by a man I do not respond at all. I simply look at him with a look that clearly implies I'm wondering if he is looking for a date.

I've been interviewed on TV and radio ten times. I always warn the interviewer before hand that I do not like being asked. I will tell them that I will respond only with "Shoes and Socks". Every one of them have been very understanding and supportive once they think about it for a moment.

I honestly believe that if we, the kilt wearers, continue to come up with quick, funny responses we are only perpetuating the asking of "The Question". We are turning it into a joke.
I think we should all grow up and realize that sexual harassment is real, that it is wrong, and can no longer be tolerated. No matter who it comes from, who it is directed towards, or the context.

OK, sorry, off my soapbox now.

Absolutely, positively no need to apologize, and I could not agree more. Respond to it however you wish (and my own replies are as sharp as Sheffield Steel) it is a mind-bogglingly rude, offensive and stupid thing to ask anyone, anytime, anywhere. Period.

[Liam]

Like others mentioned, for me it depends on the attitude of the questioner...many subtle things to consider. I used to choose my response by how I gauged the questioner's attitude. Like Steve, its long ago become an unwelcome question.

The worst for me was an out lesbian female coworker - who was wearing a skirt at the time - ask me in the main hallway at work (using coarser language that I paraphrase here), "How do you go number two in that thing?" I immediately became most serious and told her that if I'd asked her that question I'd be fired and arrested and that I was, at that moment, considering heading to Human Resources to file a complaint against her. She walked away and never again remarked about my kilts.

Although perhaps she had never figured it out.... (Ron.. Only my poor attempt at humour).

[Holcombe Thomas]

The last time I got "The Question," I told the young woman that I didn't ask what underwear she was wearing. She rephrased her question, demanding to know if I was wearing my kilt "authentically." Given that I had the kilt wrapped around me, with the pleats in back, I figured that, yes, that was authentic.

Holcombe

[NYClark]

I did not expect the question on my second time wearing the kilt in public and simply asked him if he were wearing underwear. I don't think he really wanted to know, just what one says, or what one thinks one says.

[KiltingandPiping]

Fortunately I haven't been physically bothered in my 10 years of kilting and piping!

When THE question arises, I simply respond with: "It is the preference of the individual" Truly an honest answer.

The type of incident that irritates me most...

Whilst marching with the pipe band I've observed onlookers trying to take pictures up some of our kilts... One one or two occasions I've stopped playing and casually mentioned "That type of photography is illegal..."

[Riverkilt]

One fun response to the question when a guy asks is to ask back with "hopeful optimism," Oh! are you gay?

[Domehead]

Not sure how that is germaine to anything in this thread?

[Riverkilt]

Germaine for me since the only time I've ever been "kilt checked" has been by an intoxicated gay man at a Pride Festival.

If I'd have done to a lady in a skirt what he did to me I'd still be in prison.

[Domehead]

Still not sure how the gender / sexual identity of the "offender", regardless of context, has any bearing on the appropriateness of the "offense"?

Frankly, the "If I put my hands up a woman's skirt..." responses are nonsense, as well. The fact is, laying hands on any individual without consent is inherently inappropriate. Laying hands on an individual whom is at best, often an acquaintance is certainly unwelcome - and around their nether region. By extension, a query concerning the same region under the same context is just not cricket. That being said, I've been asked only once, in the US or Scotland, and I remember explaining the Regimental necessity for field hygiene and the longer tail on MOD issued shirts.

I wear THCD. On average, I wear it 5 times a month. There is a thick Scots Diaspora in Rochester but I get no action from "Americans". However, many English and Scottish approach me, with nothing but positivity. The regular comment is "It's wonderful to see the kilt. Well Done."...that, from a Glaswegian woman senior to myself, at the diner following services this past Sunday. We spoke for a moment about Buchanan Street and saying "Pie & Pint" in Glasgow v. Angus. Then I helped her into her automobile. She asked if she'd said "Up yer kilt!" yet and she did. I wished I'd responded "Kilty, Kilty cauld bum" or something to play along.

Ryan

[MrLion]

My favorite reply, which I read here on XTMS is: "Can you keep a secret? Yes? So can I!"