Your worst puns

**dcommini** · 24th November 15, 03:09 PM

A foal walks into a bar and says quietly to the bartender "Pint of stout, please." The bartender - with a hand to his ear - looks at the foal and says, "What?"

Again the foal says quietly, "Pint of stout, please." again the bartender asks, "What?"

Once more the foal quietly says, "Pint of stout, please." The bartender replies, "Look, buddy you're going to have to speak up, I can't hear you."

The foal then says, "Sorry, I'm just a little horse."

**azwildcat96** · 24th November 15, 06:28 PM

A mathematician goes out and counts his flock of sheep out on the hillside and has 67 head. Of course he tells his friends he has 70...after he rounds them up.

**Mikilt** · 24th November 15, 07:39 PM

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't. Down comes from a goose.

**Blupiper** · 25th November 15, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by dcommini

A foal walks into a bar and says quietly to the bartender "Pint of stout, please." The bartender - with a hand to his ear - looks at the foal and says, "What?"

Again the foal says quietly, "Pint of stout, please." again the bartender asks, "What?"

Once more the foal quietly says, "Pint of stout, please." The bartender replies, "Look, buddy you're going to have to speak up, I can't hear you."

The foal then says, "Sorry, I'm just a little horse."

Along those lines: The Bigger family is standing in a line: Papa Bigger, Mama Bigger and baby Bigger. Who is the largest? Baby, because he's just a little Bigger.

JMB

**RectaPete** · 25th November 15, 09:48 PM

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four men have a poor view, so he stands on a wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

**GrainReaper** · 26th November 15, 07:02 AM

Two Italians are sitting on the docks looking at a submarine in the harbor, one points and says "that's a U-boat?"
The other replies "no I'm just a here looking"

**GrainReaper** · 26th November 15, 07:04 AM

If you are having a party, be sure to invite a mushroom,
He's always the fungi

**Mikilt** · 3rd December 15, 02:35 PM

Where can you find giant snails?

At the end of a giant's fingers.

**Profane James** · 3rd December 15, 02:58 PM

This one's making the rounds in my Facebook feed:

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "it's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Waka Waka

**MNlad** · 3rd December 15, 04:08 PM

Two hunters, one from Germany and the other from the Czech Republic, were late returning to camp while on safari. The hunting guide and several other members of the party conducted a search and came upon a pride of lions who had obviously just enjoyed a rather large meal.

One of the party shot a lioness, and upon opening the now deceased animal discovered the hapless German. The party was all in favor of shooting the rest of the animals, sure that one of them had killed their other friend. The guide, however, said such extreme measures were not necessary and only one animal needed to be dispatched since it was obvious the Czech was in the male.