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Thread: Musician Jokes

  1. #11
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    And then there was the pub which was known as "The Fiddle", because it was a vile inn.

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  3. #12
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    What's the range of a piccolo? It's lethal to 20 yards. Also works for Great Highland Pipes, of course.

    How do you tune two piccolos? Shoot them both.
    Ken Sallenger - apprentice kiltmaker, journeyman curmudgeon,
    gainfully unemployed systems programmer

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by fluter View Post
    What's the range of a piccolo? It's lethal to 20 yards. Also works for Great Highland Pipes, of course.

    How do you tune two piccolos? Shoot them both.
    You could also say:

    What's the range of a piccolo?
    Depends on how good your arm is.
    Here's tae us - / Wha's like us - / Damn few - / And they're a' deid - /
    Mair's the pity!

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  7. #14
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    How do Bagpipers get on their IQ tests?


    Drool.


    As a piper myself I find this one hilarious!
    Last edited by KD Burke; 9th September 20 at 03:34 AM.
    'A damned ill-conditioned sort of an ape. It had a can of ale at every pot-house on the road, and is reeling drunk. "

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  9. #15
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    one of my colleagues

    posted on facebook. He did audit of all the jobs he has lost since the pandemic hit and found he made 247 dollars.

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by grizzbass View Post
    posted on facebook. He did audit of all the jobs he has lost since the pandemic hit and found he made 247 dollars.
    Every gig I've ever played has cost me money!
    'A damned ill-conditioned sort of an ape. It had a can of ale at every pot-house on the road, and is reeling drunk. "

  12. #17
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    the sad thing

    It's funny because it's true
    Quote Originally Posted by KD Burke View Post
    Every gig I've ever played has cost me money!

  13. #18
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    What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

    "A drummer."

    --------------------------------

    What is the kindest thing one can do when they see a banjo lying inside a dumpster?

    "Drop an accordion on it."

    -------------------------------

    This one is not kind to the forum, however...

    ...long ago, an acquaintance described the sounds of bagpipes as someone walking on a bunch of cats.

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  15. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Hood View Post
    What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

    "A drummer."

    --------------------------------

    What is the kindest thing one can do when they see a banjo lying inside a dumpster?

    "Drop an accordion on it."

    -------------------------------

    This one is not kind to the forum, however...

    ...long ago, an acquaintance described the sounds of bagpipes as someone walking on a bunch of cats.

    Hoots, Mon!

    What's wrong with walking on a bunch of cats?
    Those ancient U Nialls from Donegal were a randy bunch.

  16. #20
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    If you are lost in the woods and come across three people; Santa Claus, and in tune bagpipe player and an out of tune bagpipe player, which one do you ask directions? The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two are myths.
    B.D. Marshall
    Texas Convener for Clan Keith

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