I got the go-ahead for a kilt at my own wedding.

[sbevans]

Is a wedding not a commencement of a partnership? Many modern weddings do not have the bride's family pay the entire freight so the Groom should have a legitimate say in how he and his groomsmen are dressed. It is not always about what the bride or her mother wants!

I couldn't agree with you more. As with any good partnership, it is important for both partners to have input. As the OP stated, he likes the idea of people wearing their clan tartans, but what does his wife to be like? And if the others standing up already have highland attire, are they able and willing to incur the expense of the rental? Planning a wedding requires compromise, but don't loose sight of the most important part, which is the many happy years you will have together!

[Jock Scot]

The Bride asking and possibly demanding that the groom in particular and others in general wear a tartan other than their own just shows a complete and utter lack of understanding of Scottish traditions and does not bode well for the future of their marriage.In my book, a short two word answer would put the the situation in perspective from a Highland Scot's point of view--------- and the second word would be "off"! I am sorry but this blatant and contrived playing at being a Scot really won't do.

[terry m]

Your wedding is one of the most special days of your life and 38 years ago our priest gave us this advice, "It is a most special and wonderful day and family traditions from both sides may crop up. But remember this, it is above all YOUR WEDDING." So I respectfully put in my ten bobs (50 pence for anyone under 50) worth.
The only correct way is your way, please don't get hung up on trying to do "the right thing" and nothing of yours. After all, you wouldn't decorate your home to please everyone else.
It is YOUR day, and may it be a wonderful day that you both look back on with love and joy, not " did we do it correctly" So, if YOU wish people to wear their own tartan, that's the way it is, if YOU wish people to wear one tartan throughout, that's the way it is. If they are offended they are not worthy of being YOUR guest. I would be honoured and privileged to be a guest at a wedding so why impose my views on someone else's special day.
Incidentally if I was out in my kilt and anyone accused me of playing at being Scottish, well, they'd better be wearing armour too...lol.
My old Mrs and me were guests at a wedding in Moffat in Scotland three years ago and the bride and groom requested that no one wore a kilt. The only man in a kilt was the piper.
I wish you both a long and happy marriage, it is a much knocked and maligned way of life nowadays and I raise my glass to you
Just my thoughts.

[MacGumerait]

The Bride asking and possibly demanding that the groom in particular and others in general wear a tartan other than their own just shows a complete and utter lack of understanding of Scottish traditions and does not bode well for the future of their marriage.In my book, a short two word answer would put the the situation in perspective from a Highland Scot's point of view--------- and the second word would be "off"! I am sorry but this blatant and contrived playing at being a Scot really won't do.

Jock , I fully understand your comments and agree . However , I don't think the " OP " was actually going down that path .

The "OP's " original post was suggesting that his Bride was agreeable to a kilted wedding . It would seem the " OP " himself is trying decide whether it is appropriate for the wedding party to do the following :

A. The groom and the groomsmen to wear their own tartan ( if they have one )

B. The groom wears his tartan and allows the groomsmen to wear a universal tartan

C. Or perhaps everyone in the same tartan for the sake of uniformity

I think perhaps the OP was asking for guidance and is not sure which is appropriate .

All three options have been used and do work ( depending on the individual ) , although I do prefer option " A " whenever possible .

Cheers , Mike

[Jock Scot]

I did understand that Mike. All I was doing was pointing out that one option was not likely to be met with enthusiasm, to put it mildly, from Highland Scots in particular and Scots in general who wear their own Clan/family tartan. For those who do not own a tartan kilt, then hiring is of course an option, but in my experience most Scots just wear a suit.

[OC Richard]

I have to order a PC, fly plaid, and a dress sporran soon, (USA kilts of course), for the wedding

You might want to look over the recent thread about fly plaids. They do add some colour for sure! But also they tend to tug on one side of the PC, pulling that side up. Thing is, a PC hangs better without one. What you might consider, if you're set on the fly plaid, is a jacket like the Montrose or Kenmore, which are secured around the waist with a dirk belt, and won't pull up like a Prince Charlie will.

If you wore a kilt at your own wedding, or were a groomsman at a wedding where there were kilted groomsmen, did they have matching kilts or was there a range of tartans? I like the idea of people wearing their own clan's tartan if they have one

I did wear a kilt at my own wedding, but the Best Man isn't a kilt guy and he wore a tux. I had no Groomsmen, but a large number of guests were kilted (in their own tartans of course).

I play pipes, and I used to pipe at dozens of weddings a year, and I've seen it both ways, with all the men in their own tartans, and all the men in matching hire outfits. I think either way looks fine. What might look odd is the middle ground: half the men in matching hire outfits, and half in their own tartans.

Now I have seen it where the Groom is wearing one tartan, the Best Man and Groomsmen all in another tartan. This is often where the Groom is a regular kiltwearer and has his own outfit, while the other men are hiring theirs. I have also seen the Groom and Best man in their own tartans (sometimes the same due to being related) and the Groomsmen in matching Hire outfits (matching each other, not the Groom and Best Man).

ever had bagpipes for just the groom?

When I was doing around 40 weddings a year I would oftentimes get a question like "when is the usual place to have bagpipes play at a wedding?" or "at what point of a wedding have you been asked to play?"

Since these people usually wanted a specific response (I found that saying "anything you want" didn't suffice) I would give them the following spiel:

"I've been hired to pipe

-preservice music outside the church only
-preservice music inside the church only
-for the seating of the mothers only
-for the Groomsmen only
-for the Best Man only
-for the Groom only
-for Clergy only
-for the Bridesmaids only
-for the Maid of Honour only
-for the Bride only
-for presenting flowers to Mary only
-for a candlelighting ceremony only
-for a particular piece of Service Music only (Offertory, Communion)
-for the Recessional only
-postservice music inside the church only
-postservice music outside the church only

and every possible combination of the above."

[OC Richard]

All I was doing was pointing out that one option was not likely to be met with enthusiasm, to put it mildly, from Highland Scots in particular and Scots in general who wear their own Clan/family tartan. For those who do not own a tartan kilt, then hiring is of course an option, but in my experience most Scots just wear a suit.

Yet, the Kilt Hire industry is enormous in Scotland, a size that indicates that a vast number of weddings a year in Scotland have the men in hired tartans. IIRC there was an intersection in Glasgow that had Kilt Hire shops at three of the four corners. (Sort of like seeing the Celtic FC shops across the street from each other.)

On my first trip to Scotland, in 1986, I was struck by the number of Kilt Hire shops (there are far more today, I think). What I also found interesting was that in every home we went into in Scotland (we were staying at people's homes rather than hotels) there was at least one framed wedding photo on the wall, these all showing the men-folk in matching (obviously hired) kilts. It was one of the peculiarities we noted, along with the Hall Tree with a selection of walking sticks we seemed to see in every home.

I came away with the impression (inaccurate as it may be) that in Scotland nobody owns a kilt but everybody gets married in one.

BTW from my experience seeing a framed wedding photo on the wall is unusual here in the USA. Here we have all the wedding photos in a special album which gathers dust on a shelf somewhere.

[MacGumerait]

I did understand that Mike. All I was doing was pointing out that one option was not likely to be met with enthusiasm, to put it mildly, from Highland Scots in particular and Scots in general who wear their own Clan/family tartan. For those who do not own a tartan kilt, then hiring is of course an option, but in my experience most Scots just wear a suit.

Very very true Jock !!! The same holds with my own family !

[terry m]

I feel a bit put out here and feel with all due respect I must make my feelings known, I am not contriving to play at being a Scot. I am, and always will be English. However I have a great love, admiration and respect for the Scottish people, their traditions, history and the beautiful country of Scotland. For that reason I decided to wear a kilt occasionally and also for love and pride of my wife who's maternal family are Scottish.
My kilt is not a play suit it is a proud statement of heritage.

[Jock Scot]

I feel a bit put out here and feel with all due respect I must make my feelings known, I am not contriving to play at being a Scot. I am, and always will be English. However I have a great love, admiration and respect for the Scottish people, their traditions, history and the beautiful country of Scotland. For that reason I decided to wear a kilt occasionally and also for love and pride of my wife who's maternal family are Scottish.
My kilt is not a play suit it is a proud statement of heritage.

I am sure that your motives for wearing the kilt are well meant and even appreciated by some Scots, but I am afraid to say that not all Scots will think that way. Now, I cannot give you definitive statistical percentages, they do not exist as far as I am aware, on who thinks what , but I do have an impression that the Highland Scots take a different slant on this to the Lowland Scots who are after all, generally speaking, very new to kilt wearing.

You may find a couple of my old threads illuminating. If you click onto Jock Scot at the top left hand corner of this post you will be able to find near the top left side of the page that appears "find latest started threads", in there you will find "Food For Thought" and "Food for thought 2" (F4T2). Neither of these threads give a definitive answer to how all Scotland thinks, however, it does indicate that some Scots( mainly Highlanders if I recall correctly) are quite firm in their thinking over the kilt.