Black tie question

[Nighthawk]

I am officiating a wedding in June, and it is black tie formal. They want all the finery possible- including me, much to my protest, as I like to be understated- and I was wondering if a tartan waist coat to match my kilt would be appropriate? All the men will be in coat tails, and I will be the only kilted person there. It's odd enough that I'm at a little bit of a loss. Normally the most formal I would go is kilt and Argyle, and most of the time, not even that! Just kilt and black waist coat are my usual. So- thoughts on tartan waistcoats?

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

The short answer is-- YES! Whether you are wearing a 5/6 button waistcoat with a four-in-hand tie, or a formal 3/4 button waistcoat with a black bow tie, a tartan waistcoat is perfectly acceptable at formal events.

[chasem]

I prefer tartan waistcoats cut on the bias if they're going to be worn with a kilt in the tartan. Breaks it up a bit, in my mind. But yeah, perfectly acceptable.

[Jock Scot]

Wear your black silver buttoned argyll, tartan waistcoat( if you wish), white shirt, polished shoes ,four in hand tie and then you will be wearing the highland kilt equivelant of the other men's attire-----tails.

[Phil]

Here is a photo I posted elsewhere showing an Argyle with a tartan waistcoat to give you an idea what it would look like.

A doublet like this is OK for a daytime wedding if you want to be a bit dressier

[M. A. C. Newsome]

Oh, that versitile Argyle!

I think you should be well set for a black tie function with a black Argyle jacket. With a black waistcoat or a tartan waistcoat, you can easily "dress up" a black Argyle jacket to wear to a black tie function.

As photo examples are always helpful, here I am with a black Argyle and matching black waistcoat.


And here is the same jacket worn with tartan waistcoat.


In both cases I am wearing a black silk cravat, but both looks would also work with a black bow tie, or even a four-in-hand tie.

What kind of sporran and hose were you considering?

[MacLowlife]

Since you won't "MATCH" anyone else, you will probably be fine with whatever you choose. I may be wrong, but since you said coat tails, the men may well be in WHITE tie, in which case, I would suggest that you bring out your full artillery.

On the other hand, you like to be understated, so your usual armament may need a little boost. I like MoR's suggestion of a 3 button waistcoat, though I suspect your tartan one is more likely to be of the 5 button variety. Would you consider a jabot?

If you are the only one in highland dress, most people will have difficulty sorting out what is formal, what is kilt, and what is wedding officiant. Someone will undoubtedly want to know the ecclesiastical significance of the color of your flashes.

Thinking just a little more, and trying to balance the full on formality with your low key role and approach, if you won't go with the jabot, maybe the best idea is a solid black four-in-hand tie and a regular collar. Keep us posted.

[Nighthawk]

I had realised where the wedding was taking place, but I had not appreciated that the white tie and full evening dress was worn to weddings over there.

Normally it's not. That's why I was asking the advice! This is a very unusual thing. And the funny thing is, I met with another couple on the same day who are going the exact opposite direction- very casual. The groom doesn't even think he'll be wearing a tie! Different personalities and all...

Anyway, Jock, thank you for the advice. It is as always very helpful I haven't yet gotten my waist coat- I'm my tailors next in line. So I think I may have go with a three button layout.

Oh, that versitile Argyle!

I think you should be well set for a black tie function with a black Argyle jacket. With a black waistcoat or a tartan waistcoat, you can easily "dress up" a black Argyle jacket to wear to a black tie function.

In both cases I am wearing a black silk cravat, but both looks would also work with a black bow tie, or even a four-in-hand tie.

What kind of sporran and hose were you considering?

I am wearing my red Lewis Rich hose. I would Argyle, but I don't have a pair, and can't afford one at this point in my life. But honestly, I doubt anyone there will know the difference, so I'm not too worried about it. As to my sporran, I have a grey rabbit fur dress sporran that I'm planning to wear. (My wife tried to convince me to get a black one, but photographing black fur is difficult at best, and that was a huge consideration. I wanted a white one, so the grey was a good compromise! Gotta keep the Mrs. happy, too!)

Since you won't "MATCH" anyone else, you will probably be fine with whatever you choose. I may be wrong, but since you said coat tails, the men may well be in WHITE tie, in which case, I would suggest that you bring out your full artillery.

On the other hand, you like to be understated, so your usual armament may need a little boost. I like MoR's suggestion of a 3 button waistcoat, though I suspect your tartan one is more likely to be of the 5 button variety. Would you consider a jabot?

If you are the only one in highland dress, most people will have difficulty sorting out what is formal, what is kilt, and what is wedding officiant. Someone will undoubtedly want to know the ecclesiastical significance of the color of your flashes.

Thinking just a little more, and trying to balance the full on formality with your low key role and approach, if you won't go with the jabot, maybe the best idea is a solid black four-in-hand tie and a regular collar. Keep us posted.

My understanding is that jabbots only go with doublets. I have neither, and same as the socks, can't afford to buy one at this point in my life. It would be a good thought, though... Maybe one of these days, I will get one.

[Nighthawk]

Have you considered wearing a robe/ vestments and clerical collar? That would seem (to me) to be most fitting for the officiant at a formal wedding.

I don't think I've ever seen an officiant wearing lay "black tie" attire.

Have the bride and groom specifically asked you to wear highland attire for their wedding? If so, disregard the above and just do as they request...


Cordially,

David

As a matter of fact, the bride said to me that they intentionally sought me out as a kilted minister, and having had several meetings, has decided that she wants nothing else- she just can't imagine me in anything else!

[davidlpope]

As a matter of fact, the bride said to me that they intentionally sought me out as a kilted minister, and having had several meetings, has decided that she wants nothing else- she just can't imagine me in anything else!

Sounds like you've discovered your niche!