What does it take?

[Andrewson]

Because it has been so hot and sticky lately I have been wearing my Ancient McKay lightweight PV casual kilt most of the time, including trips to the shops locally and to the nearest city, leading organised group walks, as well as around the house and garden. I get nothing but approval - envy even - from those who remark on what I am wearing. Most, of course, don't seem to notice.

However my wife still regards this use of the kilt as "eccentric." She's fine with me wearing a kilt for Scottish dancing, even dancing in public - and I have had three sessions of that in the last week including MCing at a ceilidh. She's also fine with me wearing it for formal occasions. But she thinks that wearing a kilt for ordinary everyday things will be thought odd by our friends and neighbours. So she is not happy when I persist with my daily outings.

Several times when she has been with me on these outlings she has heard people compliment me on my choice of clothes: "The kilt is definitely the right idea for this weather!" "You look very smart!" "That looks cool!"

This morning, in deference to her feelings on the subject, I reluctantly wore shorts for our trip to the local shops. One of our oldest friends (a neighbour) greeted us with "No kilt today? Saw you earlier [in the week] and thought it was a good idea for the heat."

But even that didn't persuade my wife.

So what does it take? How do you convince someone that you are wearing the kilt for comfort not because you are trying to establish a reputation as the local oddball?

[RockyR]

Bottom line... people have preconceived ideas of what's "acceptable" and what's not. Unfortunately, your wife isn't fond of kilts for everyday wear. Not much is going to change that but *MAYBE* time and wearing them often.

I have a unique perspective on kilts since I sell them. I've noticed something... in certain "sales" jobs I've had, you can talk people into certain things or out of certain things. "You'll need a maintenance package with that..." But kilts are different. People either have preconcerived notions about "men in skirts" or they're open minded about it. There's much less of a "grey area"... either you want one or you won't ever wear one. If a man doesn't want to wear a Kilt, chances are he won't... even if his wife / s.o. offers to PAY for it FOR him. Even after he tries it on and gets hoots and whistles from women around him... if he's made up his mind that he can't "wear a skirt", then no ammount of coaxing will get him into it.

What a shame... if they'd open their narrow minds a little, they'd be much more comfortable and have many more fun social encounters.

...Back to your dilema...

Nothing will change her mind but HER. As long as you keep acting "proper" and getting positive feedback and she SEES people asking you "HEY, Where's the Kilt today!?!", she has a better chance of eventually coming around.

Some people are comfortable being a little "eccentric". Others must ONLY follow the heard.

[Tattoo Bradley]

Some people are comfortable being a little "eccentric". Others must ONLY follow the heard.

[Rex_Tremende]

But she thinks that wearing a kilt for ordinary everyday things will be thought odd by our friends and neighbours.

Chances are that she's worried about what your friends and neighbors will think of her. Maybe you could ask a few of your supporters to let her know how much they admire her for her support (whether it's being displayed or not), and that they think she has a great catch in a husband.

Just a thought,
Rex in Cincinnati

[Jimmy the Celt]

I was born eccentric, so I took to the kilt like an Irishman takes to whiskey. My first outing was only about a half hour after my first kilt arrived, and I was more than comfortable going out in public kilted. It was almost natural to me.

But yes, eccentric I am, to a fault at times; but I enjoy being me

James

[O'Neille]

The more you wear the more you'll feel like yourself. I attempted to wear shorts to Tucson today but couldn't bring myself to keep them on. Definately not as comfortable as my canvas kilt. The only place I felt a little weird was at a sushi restaurant where the Itamae-san was a little agawk when I said Ama "ebi o kudasai, omakase" (Translated, Sweet shrimp please and you choose what I'll have next). I had never been in this restaurant before. I think he didln't expect a guy in a kilt to order in Japanese (I speak many languages in food dialect only). So it probably wasn't the kilt that caused the reaction. O'Neille

[kilted in kleaveland]

I think Rex has hit on to something. Women can be just as " protective " as men about thier s/o. Or perhaps she is a little jealous of all the attention
( real or persieved ) that you get. I do agree that you should continue to aclimate her to the idea that kilts are for everyday occasions. Don't, however force this on her, but give valid reasons such as comfort, testicular health, and the fact that you want to look good for her.

[Chris Webb]

Look, you wear a kilt when practically nobody else does ... you're an oddball. Of course, so am I.

It's OK to be an oddball. One of the advantages of being an oddball is that nobody ever expects an oddball to have "reasons" for being one outside of simply being odd. In fact, if you start to make it your habit to explain yourself you cease to be an oddball and cross over into the realm of being an troublemaker.

It is said that a member of polite society will dress not for himself but for others. Search this site if you will but you will find no posts that directly state that anyone here wears a kilt for anyone but themselves. My comfort, my heritage, my testicular health ... to the discomfort of others, wives being a particularly thorny subset of the society we are defying.

Your most effective defense of wearing your kilt is simply to offer no defense at all while consistently wearing it. Your consistency will establish your eccentricity and your eccentricity will be answer enough. You have to accept that to be an eccentric you must, by definition, not care about the opinions of others regarding it. If you care about your wife's discomfort then you are simply putting your own sense of comfort ahead of hers, something a true eccentric wouldn't be aware of doing.

Oddly enough, it seems many people in polite society enjoy the occassional oddball, even envy him a bit. It is possible that one day there will be enough of us kilt wearing oddballs that it will cease to be odd to wear one. But until that unlikely distant day I will continue to embrace my own oddness with out apology and ...

Kilt On.

Chris Webb

[Ne Oublie]

My wife loves me to wear a kilt, it makes no difference where we are going or what we are doing, wear the kilt. I do draw the line at one thing though, I won't wear it on the motorcycle!

[MacWage]

Eccentric?? Who????? ME????? :confused:

I was the ONLY kilted one at a car gathering in Deal's Gap, NC/Tenn (US-129) this weekend. Now, I am known in some circles as "The Kilted One" (but-> could be MUCH worse).

I would venture to guess MOST of us who are here would classify ourselves as "eccentric" in one way or another!

The Kiled One (in Miata-dom),