Stared At

[Riverkilt]

There's a dairy store about a hundred miles out on the Arizona Strip that sells succulent unpasturized cheese from the dairy next door. I love it. Its half the price of supermarket cheese. I make the drive a LOT to stock up.

Today I was working and took the clients along for a trip to see a number of petroglyphs, the Kaibab Paiute reservation, and how the folks in this town live.

In this town the men wear their shirts buttoned at the neck and the sleeves long and buttoned. The women wear pioneer style dresses. So they're used to being stared at when they leave their home town to shop.

Today I'm wearing my new desert digital camo Utilikilt Survivor for driving comfort. When we get to the Dairy Store its full of young men in their late teens and early 20s. They didn't say anything to me, but they just stood and stared at me - sort of like a deer in the headlights stare. Very open about it - no sneaky glances - just flat out locked on radar stares.

Never had that happen before - even here, since most of the customers in the store are usually women.

The cashier lady looked at me and said, "You're that guy who comes out here and buys a lot of cheese all the time" Yup, that's me - the kilted cheese junkie.

[Burly Brute]

Sounds like Arizona. Ron, I want you to show me some of these historical wonders in my state sometime!

[LitTrog]

Yup, that's me - the kilted cheese junkie.

Hmm. Either you've stolen my title, or each state is allowed their own kilted cheese junkie--like each village has an idiot. I'm told I got that one covered, too.

[Jimmy]

Its as if it was still the days of the High Chapparal. Surely these people know of the kilt and its origins? Was the staring hostile or perhaps in admiration?
Its something I've never experienced although you are always aware in foreign countries that you are dressed different from the norm

[cessna152towser]

Only place I've been aware of that was in a village in the Troodos Mountains in Cyprus about twenty years ago. Drew up in a hired car and walked a few yards into a cafe to order coffee. Became aware that everyone in the village was dressed in black and had stopped to stare at the colourful and lightly clad tourists who had arrived in their village.

[Jimmy]

I remember about 20 years ago, I was in Roumania watching the Scotland national team and we were staying in a remote village near the Carpathian mountains. It was the year after the dictator Ceausescu had been deposed from power and I think the hotel we were staying in was one of his summer retreats. Anyway there was about 40 of us and there was only me and my mate kilted, a deputation from the village approched me and presented me with a bunch of flowers and seemed to welcome us to their village, none of the deputation spoke English. At that time I was embarassed by being presented with a bouquet of flowers and I have never lived it down with my Tartan Army friends. If I can recollect I seemed to be getting equal attention from both sexes and again I have never lived this attention down

[Tobus]

When we get to the Dairy Store its full of young men in their late teens and early 20s.

That's a little odd! Don't kids that age generally find somewhere more interesting to hang out than a dairy store?

Anyway, I get really annoyed at people who stare. It's one thing to look at someone for a few seconds, or even to make obvious signs of interest like poking your buddy or nodding your head in the direction of the person of interest. But to sit there and simply stare is the height of rudeness. My wife tells me she just wants to go slap those people who stare.

Why is it that staring is so rude? What is it about simply looking at someone for more than a few seconds that makes it downright uncomfortable or even challenging? Is it something that's unique to our particular culture, or is it pretty much universal? I can't think of any culture where it's polite to stare at people, so it would seem to me that it's simply human nature to be offended or affronted by staring.

[piperdbh]

Did you flash them a big

CHEESY

grin, Ron?

[LitTrog]

Why is it that staring is so rude? What is it about simply looking at someone for more than a few seconds that makes it downright uncomfortable or even challenging?

As I understand it, it's just a cultural expression of something very primitive and universal across the animal kingdom. In a social group, prolonged eye contact denotes either intimacy or challenge. If a stranger is staring, people are uncomfortable because of the unresolved hierarchy. And, for prey animals (like we sometimes were) something staring at us sparks that visceral suspicion that we're about to be a meal.

Fight or flight, avert your eyes or slap. Eyes are as useful in communication as a larynx.

[Riverkilt]

Hey Burley, come on up sometime when I'm not working and will show you around the canyonlands.

I am endeavoring to follow the forum rules. If I could be more specific about the town and culture it'd be easier to understand. The Dairy Store also sells delicious home made candies and ice cream. That, and shopping for the family, probably attracted the young men to the store.

And, LitTrog you'd be in cheese heaven. Its unpasturized cheese, fresh from the dairy across the street. And cheap, since there's no transportation cost.

I've made it a point over the years to always be kilted when I visit...theory is that so many stare at their way of dress, give them a chance to do some staring of their own.