Kilted funeral anecdotes

[Grouse Claw]

Greetings All,
I've been wearing my kilt about a year. Sometimes it is right for the company I keep. Other times it is definitely not. I have just been to a memorable funeral for someone I respected highly. So I wore the kilt to the church to make that point. Others dressed up in business suits and fine frocks and the like, probably saying the same thing. Afterwards, socializing with the people, I found immediate acceptance and respect. One man spoke of his wearing the kilt too, at another event. Several ladies were interested and asked about the tartan. One of the clergy approached me (I'm a real Scot) speaking an impeccable Lowlands accent and made some jokes. I asked him where he came from. Lancashire. He had spent some weeks in a ship's cabin with a Scot and had learned well. After a time the Scot asked him if he was taking the Mickey, but no, he was just appreciating the experience. My last anecdote, if you are still with me, is that one acquaintance who was there seemed to freeze up with me and lose his poise. I wonder why.

[OC Richard]

Nice anecdotes!

Odd, I can't recall attending a funeral NOT wearing a kilt since the 1980s.

Usually I'm playing the pipes. But even when not, the person has always been in 'the kilted community' I suppose one could say, the Pipe Band scene and so forth, and many if not most of the mourners are kilted.

I'll be kilted at a funeral this Monday. The fellow was long connected to the local Pipe Band community and was usually to be seen kilted himself.

[Riverkilt]

I wear a kilt to funerals too. Never had a bad word, many compliments. One sad funeral for a young lady her parents came over to me after to specifically thank me for wearing a kilt to her funeral. Her father asked, "How did you know we were Scottish?" Told him I didn't, it was just out of respect and I pointed out the tartan I chose represented a key interest in her life. He was most pleased... I think it helps the grieving family to know their deceased was respected outside the immediate family too.

[Braw Cathairneach]

Some years back, I buried my late wife in the taiga on the upper Nushagak River where she spent most of her life. We were residing in the Anchorage bowl when she crossed the bar. She was a highly respected elder in the Yupik community, thus a funeral was held in Anchorage and another when we brought her home to our village. The lass loved the pipes. The funeral held in Anchorage featured a kilted-piper. 'twas made clear that there'd be no soap-opera-organ-music at her funeral. The kilted-piper made her send off a memorable as well as a bonnie experiance for the jam-packed service. 'twas the only time I've seen a kilt at a Yupik funeral.

[Chainsaw02]

I have attended many funerals kilted and even have been asked to attend attired as such. My wife's family is pure German and very large but accept me kilted as if it were a most natural thing. I made myself a 13oz, 8yd all black kilt that I wear mostly for funerals along with a black shirt and jacket. Also I wear black hose, flashes and loafers.

If I don't go kilted someone always ask why I'm not. I have had those strange looks one gets from the non-kilted but these are always offset by the smiles and good comments.

Kilted and proud,
Larry Dirr

[Father Bill]

In Canada, Anglican priests are expected to wear our normal liturgical garments when we officiate. The one time I wish I hadn't, I got a telephone call from a funeral director friend a couple of hours from home asking me to do a local interment. Of course I agreed. When I arrived, properly robed, it turned out that the aged widow had an accent you could NOT cut with a knife - it would need a saw.

She spoke not only accented English but mixed in a fair bit of Scots dialect. I wish I had known; I would have dressed appropriately for the lady in question. He was also a brother Mason, so I was at least able to work in a bit of that.

Nonetheless, it was a warming experience for all of the family and for myself.

[Hawk]

Some years back, I buried my late wife in the taiga on the upper Nushagak River where she spent most of her life. We were residing in the Anchorage bowl when she crossed the bar. She was a highly respected elder in the Yupik community, thus a funeral was held in Anchorage and another when we brought her home to our village. The lass loved the pipes. The funeral held in Anchorage featured a kilted-piper. 'twas made clear that there'd be no soap-opera-organ-music at her funeral. The kilted-piper made her send off a memorable as well as a bonnie experiance for the jam-packed service. 'twas the only time I've seen a kilt at a Yupik funeral.

Honor and respect to your late wife......from another Traditional Tribal Man.........

Hawk

[Blupiper]

The first time I played my pipes in public was for a funeral of a gentleman from our church. He had requested "Amazing Grace" before he died and the family contacted me. I expected a small crowd and the immediate family. Well, the church was packed--not a seat empty. My knees were shaking, but I struck in solidly, played through the tune and finished well. After the ceremony, there were 'thank you's' all around and the widow came up to me, grabbed my cheeks in her hands, placed her forehead to mine and held me like that for a full thirty seconds. She thanked me and began to tear up. I think I will always remember her gesture to me.

JMB

[OC Richard]

My knees were shaking, but I struck in solidly, played through the tune and finished well.

Good for you!

I've played Amazing Grace thousands of times at funerals over the last 35+ years, but the technical challenge is always there, the challenge of making the pipes (the balky, recalcitrant, moody things that they are) behave themselves. It takes more skill that people realise to strike in cleanly, have the drones and every note of the chanter in tune throughout the piece, maintain even blowing through those long High A's, and have a clean cut-off.

I know that for the family a funeral is an emotional experience, and it can be for the piper too, but I myself am focused on giving the best performance possible, which means meeting all of these mundane-sounding technical challenges.

[gbmaz]

One of my good friends from high school lost his dad while we were in college. He died in his sleep unexpectedly from a massive heart attack while on vacation with his family.

My friend's home was always a welcoming one and many of us spent a good portion of our high school years hanging out on his front porch and eating meals with his family. The same was true of his 3 older siblings friends. The Green household was always full of young people and laughter.

At his funeral the church was packed to overflowing with family and friends, but especially with his 4 children's friends. We were all pretty devastated, but gamely thought we were strong young men who could get through this with stoic reserve....

Then the piper struck the first notes of Amazing Grace and not a face was to be seen without tears rolling down it. I had never really heard the pipes before, outside of an occasional movie scene, and was completely unprepared for their impact. To this day 20+ years later picturing that moment brings tears to my eyes.

Sorry to hijack the thread a bit, but I just want to extend my thanks to all of those who play the pipes in those special moments.