”Hi,
My name is David I’m a kiltaholic” He mumbled moving his feet nervouly and looking at the floor.

”Hi, David” they all replyed as if chanted.
”Tell us the strory David” the group leader said
”The story why your here today”
David cleared his throut and began .

”It all started like most things rather innocently.I had a mate that invited me to a party.It was the usual ”Bring a bottle ” or in my cas 6 cans. Well to cut a long story short.I got drunk and was just sitting in the sofa. When a guy came and sat next to me.He had a kilt on.”
I say” wow! That’s really cool”
”He says you want to try it on” We where about the same size.
Ok! I said …I was drunk after all.I thought It’ll be a laugh and afterwards all my mates will say what a laugh it was and that would be that. I’d just wake-up in the morning with a hangover.

Well I tried it on It’s difficult to describe the feeling of elation I got ”Freedom”I just had to have one.”The wool the cut the Feeel!

”David, David. Calm down .Take a deep breath and continue”. Said the leader

Well next it was up to Scotland and in to the first shop I saw. I squandered all my savings on a complete rigg out ”Prince charlie the whole shooting match.

They told me about the internet sites they knew of. I had no PC so I went to the bank and got a lone.I sat for hours just looking at the screen looking at all the different tartans that where available.Things were just a ”One stop click shop away”

By the end of the first month I’d got to the stage where I’d burnt all my trousers and people in the villiage I live had begun to call me Jock and mocked me.

No matter I moved.Sold my house and, bought a flat .With the extra I bought even more kilts. I saw tartan everywhere. I began to hang things in the wardrobe. I purchased items of clothing that only matched the kilts I had.

Still more.I started learning the Bagpipes.The neigbours complained. So I had to move…This time to a smaller flat and the extra went to more whisky and even more kilts……I started to skip work because of chatting on the internett.

The dowmward spiral was beginning.A friend (the one I had left) recommened I come here.

”Oh! Sorry we’re all here for the same reason” they all chanted
David ran screamming into the night