What does it take?

**Andrewson** · 29th July 06, 03:39 PM

Because it has been so hot and sticky lately I have been wearing my Ancient McKay lightweight PV casual kilt most of the time, including trips to the shops locally and to the nearest city, leading organised group walks, as well as around the house and garden. I get nothing but approval - envy even - from those who remark on what I am wearing. Most, of course, don't seem to notice.

However my wife still regards this use of the kilt as "eccentric." She's fine with me wearing a kilt for Scottish dancing, even dancing in public - and I have had three sessions of that in the last week including MCing at a ceilidh. She's also fine with me wearing it for formal occasions. But she thinks that wearing a kilt for ordinary everyday things will be thought odd by our friends and neighbours. So she is not happy when I persist with my daily outings.

Several times when she has been with me on these outlings she has heard people compliment me on my choice of clothes: "The kilt is definitely the right idea for this weather!" "You look very smart!" "That looks cool!"

This morning, in deference to her feelings on the subject, I reluctantly wore shorts for our trip to the local shops. One of our oldest friends (a neighbour) greeted us with "No kilt today? Saw you earlier [in the week] and thought it was a good idea for the heat."

But even that didn't persuade my wife.

So what does it take? How do you convince someone that you are wearing the kilt for comfort not because you are trying to establish a reputation as the local oddball?

**RockyR** · 29th July 06, 04:03 PM

Bottom line... people have preconceived ideas of what's "acceptable" and what's not. Unfortunately, your wife isn't fond of kilts for everyday wear. Not much is going to change that but *MAYBE* time and wearing them often.

I have a unique perspective on kilts since I sell them. I've noticed something... in certain "sales" jobs I've had, you can talk people into certain things or out of certain things. "You'll need a maintenance package with that..." But kilts are different. People either have preconcerived notions about "men in skirts" or they're open minded about it. There's much less of a "grey area"... either you want one or you won't ever wear one. If a man doesn't want to wear a Kilt, chances are he won't... even if his wife / s.o. offers to PAY for it FOR him. Even after he tries it on and gets hoots and whistles from women around him... if he's made up his mind that he can't "wear a skirt", then no ammount of coaxing will get him into it.

What a shame... if they'd open their narrow minds a little, they'd be much more comfortable and have many more fun social encounters.

...Back to your dilema...

Nothing will change her mind but HER. As long as you keep acting "proper" and getting positive feedback and she SEES people asking you "HEY, Where's the Kilt today!?!", she has a better chance of eventually coming around.

Some people are comfortable being a little "eccentric". Others must ONLY follow the heard.

**Tattoo Bradley** · 29th July 06, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by RockyR

Some people are comfortable being a little "eccentric". Others must ONLY follow the heard.

**Jimmy the Celt** · 29th July 06, 06:15 PM

I was born eccentric, so I took to the kilt like an Irishman takes to whiskey. My first outing was only about a half hour after my first kilt arrived, and I was more than comfortable going out in public kilted. It was almost natural to me.

But yes, eccentric I am, to a fault at times; but I enjoy being me

James

**O'Neille** · 29th July 06, 06:40 PM

The more you wear the more you'll feel like yourself. I attempted to wear shorts to Tucson today but couldn't bring myself to keep them on. Definately not as comfortable as my canvas kilt. The only place I felt a little weird was at a sushi restaurant where the Itamae-san was a little agawk when I said Ama "ebi o kudasai, omakase" (Translated, Sweet shrimp please and you choose what I'll have next). I had never been in this restaurant before. I think he didln't expect a guy in a kilt to order in Japanese (I speak many languages in food dialect only). So it probably wasn't the kilt that caused the reaction. O'Neille

**NewKilt** · 30th July 06, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by RockyR

Bottom line... people have preconceived ideas of what's "acceptable" and what's not. Unfortunately, your wife isn't fond of kilts for everyday wear. Not much is going to change that but *MAYBE* time and wearing them often.

Nothing will change her mind but HER. As long as you keep acting "proper" and getting positive feedback and she SEES people asking you "HEY, Where's the Kilt today!?!", she has a better chance of eventually coming around.

Rocky has really nailed it. I think the fact that your wife is willing to go out with you while kilted (even though see doesn't like it) is a potential bright spot. Only time will tell.

My wife was not crazy about it initially, but I think her being with me, and people making compliments made her more at ease. I wear them full-time, and now she even tells me I look nice, and has no problems going with me anywhere.

I would talk to her about how it is actually a more logical form of attire for men than pants or shorts.

Darrell

**bubba** · 30th July 06, 07:22 PM

My wife was a bit skeptical when I first decided to get a kilt but once I started she liked it alot. I gotta admit I used to dress more like Larry the Cable Guy and my wife took some pleasure in disposing of my ratty jeans and ragged flannel shirts. I guess my wardrobe took a definate jump up in style and class.

**Andrewson** · 31st July 06, 01:51 AM

Many thanks for all the helpful suggestions - especially to Rocky for his rapid and insightful response.

I'd just like to make it clear that I don't mind being thought a bit eccentric. It is part of my plan to grow old disgracefully because that adds a delicious bit of spice to life. I've never ever been in the mainstream of common interests and ideas but I did waste a great deal of time when young worrying about what others thought. I'm growing out of that.

No, the problem really is how to persuade someone you love to share these feelings.

I found Blu's suggestion to Hachiman on the recent thread http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=19797
to re-read the Braveheart material at http://www.kiltmen.com/advice.htm
was also very useful. I too had forgotten about that useful page.

Thanks again!

**Rex_Tremende** · 29th July 06, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Andrewson

But she thinks that wearing a kilt for ordinary everyday things will be thought odd by our friends and neighbours.

Chances are that she's worried about what your friends and neighbors will think of her. Maybe you could ask a few of your supporters to let her know how much they admire her for her support (whether it's being displayed or not), and that they think she has a great catch in a husband.

Just a thought,
Rex in Cincinnati

**kilted in kleaveland** · 29th July 06, 06:46 PM

I think Rex has hit on to something. Women can be just as " protective " as men about thier s/o. Or perhaps she is a little jealous of all the attention
( real or persieved ) that you get. I do agree that you should continue to aclimate her to the idea that kilts are for everyday occasions. Don't, however force this on her, but give valid reasons such as comfort, testicular health, and the fact that you want to look good for her.