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Thread: tartan joke

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  1. #1
    macwilkin is offline
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    tartan joke

    Here's a good one found, ironically whilst reading a thread on a music forum about "Waltzing Matilda" (don't ask me how they tied the two together!):

    What is the BBC tartan? Answer: Small cheques.

    T.

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    <rimshot> HERE </rimshot>


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    I don't know if it's just early or not, but that almost made me spew green tea about my room.

    ~Yeti

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    That's not only funny, it's true...

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    ARGH!

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    Chef is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMillan of Rathdown View Post
    That's not only funny, it's true...
    Verrrry true!

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    Arlen - the BBC is not known for its largesse when it comes to prizes either.

    Remember the Blankety Blank cheque book and pen?

    Or to celebrate Bruce Forsyth's 80th - the Generation Game cuddly toy?
    [B][COLOR="Red"][SIZE="1"]Reverend Earl Trefor the Sublunary of Kesslington under Ox, Venerable Lord Trefor the Unhyphenated of Much Bottom, Sir Trefor the Corpulent of Leighton in the Bucket, Viscount Mcclef the Portable of Kirkby Overblow.

    Cymru, Yr Alban, Iwerddon, Cernyw, Ynys Manau a Lydaw am byth! Yng Nghiltiau Ynghyd!
    (Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Cornwall, Isle of Man and Brittany forever - united in the Kilts!)[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]

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    Uhm...... I don't get it.

  9. #9
    macwilkin is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arlen View Post
    Uhm...... I don't get it.
    Small checks/cheques...meaning pay cheques. :mrgreen:

    T.

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    A visitor form one of the countries other than Scotland arrived in
    Edinburg with one thought in mind - to buy a kilt. After some time seeking
    he came upon a wonderful little Scottish tartan shop. Going
    inside he was met by a pleasant young man who asked him what he could do
    for him.

    "I would like to buy some tartan and to have a kilt made," the visitor
    answered.

    "Yes. And which tartan was it you were loking for?" the kindly laddie
    asked.

    "Well, my name is Dunlop. Do you have a Dunlop tartan?" the vistor
    enquired.

    "Well Sir, if you'll have a seat for a few minutes I will see if we have
    any ," the lad replied.

    Young Tom MacCrae went through the swatches carefully and after searching
    every one (over 200) he declared to the visitor that he had not located
    such tartan but that Mr. MacKenzie, the owner might know where it was.

    MacKenzie berated the boy and told him that he was blind and stupid into
    the bargain. "the trouble wi' yae iz ye hevnae lived lang eneuch," he
    raged. " Get oot the wey an Ah'll geat the maun a tartan that'll dae jist
    fine."

    Out he goes into the store muttering, "Nae Dunlop tartan indeed! hrmph!"

    To the customer he said. "Well, well, Mr. Dunlop, Ah'm very glad to see
    you, an' you all the way from Canada. it's Dunlop tartan ye waur seekin?
    Aye, well, mebbe Ah van help ye?"
    the wily old fellow said.

    "But the lad said you had none," Dunlop said.

    "AH, Weel he's young an' he's a lot to learn. Let me see whit Ah can do
    for ye." the old one said.

    Experienced hands riffled through the swatches and suddenly 9 yards of a
    beautiful tartan were cut, wrapped and sold to Mr. Dunlop.

    After the customer left with his cherished tartan, the confused lad said to the
    old man, "Mr. MacKenzie Ah'm surprised that you, an elder in the Kirk and
    a former Burgher of this City, wad sell a false tartan to a man who came so
    far to get his own tartan!"

    "Noo Laddie, Ye ken Ah'm a lot older than yae. Ah hae business experience,
    son, an' when yae are as auld as me yae'll ken that Dunlop hae been
    MacIntyres for years."

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