funeral piper's story

[JS Sanders]

Yesterday’s funeral gig has provided another chuckle.

I played in the mortuary’s chapel with all the accompanying effects from those present. After the service, the flowers are loaded into the appropriate vehicle, family & mourners are herded to the limousines, and the vehicles are assembled for the drive to the cemetery for the graveside portion.

I was catching a ride in the hearse, so I had to wait for the funeral directors to make last minute preparations. Ordinarily I do what I can to assist, but mainly try to remain available and out of their way.

Behind the closed curtains, the staff was taking steps to seal the coffin – this model was metal. In case you were unaware, they use an Allen wrench key. The lid is closed and the attendants insert & tighten the two Allen bolts to make a very strong seal. Coffin nails belong to the distant past.

I was carrying a bouquet of flowers to the van and a mourner found his way behind the curtains. He asked me if he could place ‘something’ into the deceased’s coffin. That’s beyond what I was hired to do and I referred him to the senior funeral director.

I couldn’t help but hear the request. The mourner, I know not if he was family/friend/other wanted to place a manually operated can opener into the (metal) coffin. He wasn’t keen on identifying his relationship to the deceased, so the funeral director firmly told him it was outta the question.

He must’ve not been ‘dead-set’ on getting the kitchen device interred, since he gave almost no argument.

Slainte yall,
steve

[Jack Daw]

The Celtic big wig at Halstatt got to have a lot of stuff buried with him on his death journey. What's a can opener? Seriously, the request was too weird to allow.

[turpin]

Very Strange, that.

[sorcererdale]

Not if the person wasn't "dead" and needed to open his way out!

DALE.

[Howard Clark]

Or was it an old guy inna box that used a "church key" (often equipped for both cans and bottles) to open his beer ? And the request made by an old friend ? Who knows ? ;)

[beloitpiper]

Maybe it was a bet?

[beowulf67]

I don't know. A can opener and a small shovel. Just in case.

Can't be to careful.

[Ancienne Alliance]

I don't know. A can opener and a small shovel. Just in case.

Can't be to careful.

AND a flashlight !

[Coemgen]

AND a flashlight !

Personally, I don't want to buried until they're damn sure I'm not getting up anytime soon.

Speaking of death humour, my brother, when he goes, wants, on his tombstone, the inscription "BRB."

[Jack Daw]

Personally, I don't want to buried until they're damn sure I'm not getting up anytime soon.

Speaking of death humour, my brother, when he goes, wants, on his tombstone, the inscription "BRB."

Oh, the undertaker will see to that.