Tartan choice for wedding?

[csbdr]

Need an opinion....My brother in law is getting married in October. I was planning on wearing my MacEwan Ancient (with the blessings of the couple) as a guest. Can't wait to get it from Matt!! I'm not in the wedding party (thank goodness!) anyway, my wife recently learned from her grandmother that they are MacCrea, and I happen to have one of Jerry's Ancient Hunting MacCrea kilts! So wondering if it would be more appropriate to wear my own family's tartan, or my wife/brother in law's? Should note that probably noone else besides myself will even notice or care. The tartans are pretty similar, and her family doesn't really pay attention to their Scottish heritage. I think it would make my wife's 98 year old grandmother happy to see me in it, though! She was tickled when we when to visit recently and i came kilted (not in her tartan though....)

[piperdbh]

I like making old women happy (and have always been better at it than at making young women happy ), so I'd say wear the MacCrae, especially since she's 98.

[dfmacliam]

I would wear your family tartan

[Monkey@Arms]

OK. So you live in the U.S., you already own a kilt in your wife's tartan, you think it would please her elderly grandmother if you wore it, no one else in the wedding would care one way of the other. Why wouldn't you wear it (if you want to)? And whose advice on this forum would trump your own judgment on this question?

Best regards,

Jake

[csbdr]

Oh, believe me, my own judgement will trump the opinion of the rabble. I'm just asking for opinions, not have the decision made for me.

OK. So you live in the U.S., you already own a kilt in your wife's tartan, you think it would please her elderly grandmother if you wore it, no one else in the wedding would care one way of the other. Why wouldn't you wear it (if you want to)? And whose advice on this forum would trump your own judgment on this question?

Best regards,

Jake

[macwilkin]

OK. So you live in the U.S., you already own a kilt in your wife's tartan, you think it would please her elderly grandmother if you wore it, no one else in the wedding would care one way of the other. Why wouldn't you wear it (if you want to)? And whose advice on this forum would trump your own judgment on this question?

Best regards,

Jake

Respect for tradition and custom is not particular to one nationality. While I agree 100% that the ultimate decision is up to the OP in this matter, and I certainly support whatever decision he makes, I fail to see why being an American citizen trumps respecting the customs and traditions of Highland attire.

My apologies for being such and "auld crabbit" about this.

Regards,

Todd

[Jock Scot]

Respect for tradition and custom is not particular to one nationality. While I agree 100% that the ultimate decision is up to the OP in this matter, and I certainly support whatever decision he makes, I fail to see why being an American citizen trumps respecting the customs and traditions of Highland attire.

My apologies for being such and "auld crabbit" about this.

Regards,

Todd

Well said sir!

[Monkey@Arms]

Technically you should wear your own tartan(as you have one) and your wife should also wear your tartan too, if she chooses to wear a tartan. Your wife and her family should understand that. However, you are in the USA and things seem a little more relaxed there.

Respect for tradition and custom is not particular to one nationality. While I agree 100% that the ultimate decision is up to the OP in this matter, and I certainly support whatever decision he makes, I fail to see why being an American citizen trumps respecting the customs and traditions of Highland attire.

My apologies for being such and "auld crabbit" about this.

Regards,

Todd

Lots of "shoulds" being thrown around here. I sometimes think the insistence that one "should" only wear the tartan that bears your father's family's name is somewhat ironic, given that most Scots rent kilts when they have to wear one, and its highly unlikely to be in a family tartan. (And that assumes that one actually really knows for sure what clan, if any, they are descended from.) But hey, that's just me.

I guess my point is that to some people's way of thinking the OP "should" never wear that MacCrea kilt he owns, and in that case he "should" mail it to me. Assuming, as I do, that the OP feels differently since he owns the kilt, then the decision about which side of his family he chooses to honor when he dresses for the wedding becomes a personal one. (Like Spartan, I'd probably be influenced by which one looks better.)

The difference that the locale makes is that according to past posts by Jock, in some segments of his community one's choice of tartan can still be fraught with strong emotional significance, and can lead to hard feelings between family and friends. Here, to the contrary, the OP made clear that no one in attendance (besides possibly Grandma) would know or care about the difference between an Ancient Hunting MacCrea tartan and an Ancient MacEwan tartan.

Respectfully yours,

Jake

[Jock Scot]

MONKY@ARMS.

With the greatest of respect, I chose the word SHOULD very carefully as it implies, to me at least, a certain amount of option. I did not say MUST,now did I ?

[KFCarter]

MONKY@ARMS.

With the greatest of respect, I chose the word SHOULD very carefully as it implies, to me at least, a certain amount of option. I did not say MUST,now did I ?

No, Jock, you didn't say must and I appreciate that. From this American's point of view, I am glad this forum affords me the opportunity to learn the traditional distinctions regarding Scottish attire even if they aren't strictly adhered to here, or as Monky@arms points out, always rigorously adhered to in Scotland. But I'm glad I now know it and when my children and grandchildren marry, I'll observe this distinction.

However, in a wider sense, I don't think it's a bad thing that Americans are prone to "interpret" the traditions of their forbears. I am sympathetic to Cajunscot's implied concern that Americans not feel license to "trump" traditions of Highland Attire, but I do not think a sense of "license" is what drives Americans to reinterpret tradition.

Regardless of our where our ancestral roots are, we are descendants of "those who left." Some left from a sense of adventure, opportunity, some were driven out or forced to leave in chains. Our immigrant ancestors came here, bearing their proud traditions, but landed here determined to remake their lives as best they could. Change is part of that package.

Most of us stateside with Scottish descent will have strong ties to other nationalities as well. For me, Dutch, German, English and, on my father's side, a recently discovered Rodriguez. And many who are drawn to wear the kilt have no Scottish ties at all. Our genes are woven of so many different strands, they probably resemble a tartan! So which "stripe" of that tartan we choose to honor may not be as clear cut as it is for others whose ancestry is of one clear rootstock.

I think the fact that so many Americans care to wear Scottish Attire, (whether they do it in a strictly observant way or not) is a testament to the compelling strength of Scottish traditions and character. And while some American "reinterpretation" might understandably cause you to wince, Jock, I don't think it's done as a gesture of disrespect, but rather arises from the nature of our complex cultural history.

By the way, thanks very much to those "traditionalists" on this forum who take the time to share you knowledge. I want to know these things. And although I may not always observes the traditions to the letter, when I depart from them it will be as a matter of choice not as a matter of ignorance.