man who is naked under his kilt gives vocabulary lesson

[Alan H]

So, being naked under my kilt and all, I decided that I needed a couple new polyester-VISCOSE kilts. I'm not that keen on acrylic any more and wool is a bit pricey, and warm out here in California, so I thought I might get some more polyester-VISCOSE kilts.

So I called up Rocky and asked him if he had any polyester-VISCOSE kilts and somehow he didn't seem to understand. I mean, I said it quite clearly polyester-VISCOSE and he kept asking me about whether I wanted my kilts to slip off of me like warm crisco, or new motor oil. I admit that I got a little annoyed. I wanted to buy one or two polyester-VISCOSE kilts and he kept talking about poly-viscous things...what the heck does "viscosity" have to do with kilts? I was confused and upset, so I tried elsewhere.

I called up the Wizard of BC and asked the Curmudgeon if he could make me a nice kilt, with pockets, no less, out of 16 ounce polyester-VISCOSE . I'm sure it was the phone connection, but I'd have sworn that he was saying "viscous", too. I had to repeat myself. Then the Curmudgeon went on about yacht design for a while, how you can't get any good vellum any more, how he'd repurposed all his drafting tools and how no matter how good it was, spectra line just didn't have the same charm as three-strand manila...and NO...there wasn't any 16 ounce poly-viscous available, and would I wait for a moment while he refilled his coffee cup....and if I found any 16 ounce poly-viscous, he'd happily make a really slippery kilt for me, free of charge.

I hung up in disgust.

So I called Matt Newsome and asked him if he'd make me a polyester-VISCOSE four yard box-pleat kilt. Blast it all, but Matt kept slurring his words, I'd swear he was talking about kilt viscosity again...poly-viscous???. What IS it with these kiltmakers? Do hours upon hours of slaving over a vibrating machine render their mental acuity near that of re-processed cellulose...which BTW, is what VISCOSE is made out of. Who'd have thunk it, a nasty petrochemical-sounding word like VISCOSE actually made from highly processed cellulose. And it's not viscous at all...well, that's not really true. VISCOSE is viscous at a few points along the line in the chemical processing but STILL. Humph!

And so I decided that I'd just have to make it myself. I've just ordered four yards of old sett, ancient colors, weathered hunting MacFussy, in 16 ounce polyester-VISCOSE and I can't wait to make myself my new, totally non-viscous kilt, which won't be slippery at all.



Thanks for reading.

[Alan H]

Man, oh man...MacFussy is right...

[Heming]

Let's all just say RAYON, that's what we mean, anyway.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Viscose is a viscous organic liquid[1] used to make rayon and cellophane.

Although a cellophane kilt could be ... interesting.

[Alan H]

Let's all just say RAYON, that's what we mean, anyway.



Although a cellophane kilt could be ... interesting.

Crinkly.

[Ruanaidh]

Let's all just say RAYON, that's what we mean, anyway.



Although a cellophane kilt could be ... interesting.

Revealing

[Bigkahuna]

Don't even go there.

[Bugbear]

I believe, with all of my heart, this has something to do with the story of "Rudolph the Red Faced Curmudgeon."

Wern't you working on the full length claymation film, Alan?

[Chas]

I think we are talking about pronunciation and not vocabulary. And, of course, regional dialect affects pronunciation - what is said and what is heard, often diametrically opposed turn out to be identical.

Regards

Chas

[KFCarter]

Let's all just say RAYON, that's what we mean, anyway.



Although a cellophane kilt could be ... interesting.

...it's the end of the Question... as we know it

[andyfg]

That's so funny Alan!