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15th November 11, 01:32 AM
#1
Got a couple free drinks for confusing a poor woman
My wife and I attended a tartan ball this past saturday, and went to a nearby hotel bar to meet a friend afterward. As we were classing up the joint, I was in my montrose, (as I wore it in my wedding - pics in the pic section, only replace the fly plaid with miniature medals), my wife in a very nice gown.
We were there for about 10 minutes, and during that time I noticed a woman a few tables over had been staring at me constantly. Naturally, kilts tend to have that effect, so I did my best to ignore her. Eventually I got up to get us all a few more drinks, and the strange woman approached me while I stood at the bar. She said hello, and I replied the same. After a short almost awkward silence, she pointed at my horse hair sporran, made a circular motion with her hand and said, "I really like all this here.... it looks very nice." So I told her, "Thanks. I used a leave-in conditioner. They have that now." On the other side of the bar, I heard the bar tender trying his best not to laugh, while the woman gave me the blankest, most confused look I've ever seen. After about 10 seconds of just standing there, she just said, "Oh. I see. Well bye then." 
After she left the bartender finally let it all out and laughed so hard he could barely breathe. Finally after getting his composure, but still with a bright red face, he gave me 2 of the 4 drinks I ordered for free. Not a bad way to end a kilted evening.
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