I have a few thoughts, as a woman, a wife, and a person who loves the kilt and all it signifies.

I admire your loving attitude toward your wife, Dana. I see your situation, as you describe it, as a case of your not wanting to hurt your wife, in view of her strong feelings about wearing the kilt, rather than a case of her trying to dominate and control you. You are very kind to care so much about how she feels. You are being the stronger person, not the weaker one. Her weakness is that she can't let go of her negative feelings (or fears), even though she knows you want her to accept your desire to be kilted. Your strength is that you care more about how she feels than about your personal desires. She is the one who is being dominated and controlled -- not by you, but by whatever is driving her objections to your wearing the kilt. You recognise that she can't easily overcome that weakness right now, and so you are willing to shoulder the burden by giving up the kilt for the time being. It's a noble act of self-sacrifice, really. You can be proud of your mature, manly compassion for your wife -- it's a virtue that is too rare in our 'me-first' society.

I wish I could magically transmit some of my own thoughts and feelings about men in kilts to your wife's mind and heart! In my humble opinion, there's nothing more sexy and masculine than a man in a kilt!

You know best how well she would accept being taken along to venues full of kilted men, such as Celtic festivals and Highland games. If you have an interest in Scottish or Celtic culture beyond wearing the kilt, you might try suggesting that you attend some such events together. I think if she were around a lot of virile, kilted guys for a day or two she might feel a bit more relaxed about the issue. On the other hand, if she thought you were dragging her along to something merely to try to desensitise her to kilts, naturally she would resent it! No one wants to feel they are being manipulated by trickery or deceit. But if you have a sincere interest in other things -- the athletic events, the pipe bands, Celtic music, clan heritage, history, etc. -- then you could legitimately pursue those interests without a mention of the kilt. She might be persuaded, eventually, to see it the other way round -- that in some situations, at least, you look like the odd man out without a kilt!

'...in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make' (or give)... To paraphrase someone even more famous than the Beatles (their statement to the contrary notwithstanding), 'Greater love hath no man than to lay down his kilt for another!' You will have your reward, one way or another, for being such a loving guy.

Stick with the forum -- it seems to be full of other guys who are as thoughtful and kind as you are! And that's good company to keep, whether kilted or not.