Connecticut Renn Faire...
I had to take a squirt. Of course, I'm kilted and regimental. I sidle up to the trough style urinal, pull the aprons to the sides, and spray.
Dude next to me starts groaning. "I hate you," he quips. "Oh, not everyone is lucky enough to be kilted," I respond. "No kidding. Some of us are wearing 70 pounds of plate armor."

Some of us are just smarter than others.