Well Duh the obvious answer is to borrow a really irritating noisy friends baby
I was already pregnant when I did this.

Did you know that a baby can blow a snot bubble 8" in diameter? Neither did I. I tell you, I was goggle-eyed and gob-smacked. (Not in the good way either)

I spent the next 5 months scared that I'd have the Guiness World Record attempter.