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Honestly I nearly died laughing at some of them. You would not believe some of the things done and said.

May I respectfully submit, Ms. Pleater, that as an aircraft mechanic for six years, absolutely nothing would surprise me anymore!

I once had a dialogue with an A-6 pilot aboard an aircraft carrier. The pilot opened the canopy (a big no-no) and waved me over. I plugged my mic into the com port and asked what was wrong. "My buddy stores hydraulic pressure is down to almost zero". okay, then what's the problem? "I'm flying a refueling mission" the pilot says. the co-pilot is beginning to snicker in the background. So what generates the presure, then, I ask. I listen to the pilot go through the long and complicated explanation of how airflow over a small propeller turns said prop which turns a small electrical generator which in turn supplies pressure to the hydraulics in the refueling stores. (Aircraft hydraulics are pressurized by generators powered by the engines and are seperate from refueling stores). I then ask how fast you must be going for this to take place. "One hundred fifty knots" is the answer. I then ask:

So, how fast are you going right now?

And these people have college degrees. Whoof.

To be fair, although I have my share of weird, funny and exotic stories, the vast majority of pilots, aircrew and the folks who keep them flying are competent and professional. But there's always that one guy...