I am fast discovering that 3:00 in the morning is NOT the time to be cleaning out old files. Anyway, here's another creation of mine from a few years back.

CHRISTMAS IN CANADA

Twas the week before Christmas down at Canada Post
I was trying to send packages to the east coast.
The line went out the door and half way round the block
The seasonal helpers wore red and green smocks.
There were moms with their kids and several old ladies
Some long haired hippie types that looked rather shady.
I patiently waited with my bags and boxes
While two little old men ate bagels and loxes.
A sweater for Mom, some slippers for Dad,
Some drawers for my brother that he needed real bad.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
But 8 little elves, all swilling beer.
They said, “We’ve had it! We’re through! It’s over and done!
We won’t work for that red suited son of a gun!
Lousy pay, no benefits and hours too long,
and having to sing that damn hi ho song.
And these clothes with their tassels and jingly bells,
Not to mention how god awful that Rudolph smells.
Three miles to work through the snow every day
And four miles back home if you go the same way.
No retirement package for all that we do
And we have to bring our own paper if we go for a poo.
So we’ve come to the city to look for new jobs,
Me, Bill, Dave and Marty, stinky Pete and three Bobs.
And we all lucked out, tomorrow morning we start
OK boys, let’s show’em
Good morning sir, welcome to WalMart.”