In my paternal line my nearest Scottish relative is likely about 25 generations ago, originally of Flemish descent (part of the Norman invasion), and even once settled in Scotland they were Borderers at that, most likely loosely aligned with the Douglas Clan, and not even formally a clan of their own until the American diaspora started the Clan Forrester in the 1960's (new original tartans and all), probably not even recognized by the Scots as such (and we have no clan chief, or really any decent candidates). There are probably other branch lines that may have more recent scottish contributions to my bloodlines.

Am I Scottish? nope, American through and through, at least 13 generations worth, although I do have distant scottish heritage and my surname is of Scottish derivation, and we now have a formal clan, well and I just enjoy wearing the kilt because of it. I am not sure just exactly what your contact's issues are with how much "scottishness" one must have to be able to demonstrate their own level of interest in the cultural attire and customs of Scotland. I know that some recent, heated and controversial threads of late here have addressed differences in how native scots, and highlanders, might feel about this and not entirely understand how the diaspora might feel or desire to incorporate that heritage into their own lives. Understanding can only come from education, one side being open to it and the other willing to be patient enough to teach the first how they see the relationships and importance to them, but that in no way guarantees that each party will come to the same endpoint or walk away from the discussions with a changed and more similar viewpoint or with simply their original one unchanged. To each his own in that regard. I pay respect to those with knowledge and experience in those things in which I am interested and who respect me for that interest, a commensal relationship for each party. But those who simply look down their noses hardly ever really see farther than the end of their noses in reality, and this woman seems to fit that bill.

jeff