I gotta agree with Bear on this... Like Bear, I don't like being told what to do. I'm not as full time with kilting as he is. Sometimes I will wear shorts. But, very rarely... That said, Mychael, your grandmother does sound quite a bit like my sister and like my mother... Strangely enough, my grandmother, who is Russian, likes my kilts and loved my long hair... Thought it looked very nice on me... Whereas, whenever I was in public with my mother, she'd always say that she was "warming up to it" when other people would ask how she felt about me being kilted. I asked her why. She felt that I looked quite feminine with long hair and said that the kilt added to it (which we all know isn't true, since a kilt is a very masculine garment).

Needless to say, at the end of October, to appease my sister who felt I was telling her to "*&^% off" with the kilts and my long hair, I fell into a trap and agreed to get a haircut. So, I went from having mid-back length hair to having shoulder-length bangs with a short cut on the back of my head. Looked terrible. 8 months later, it was finally starting to get back to normal after dealing with the layered mess for about 6 months... Then, my sister & mother were perusing my computer for some reason, and found some stuff (which shall remain mystery here) on it. My mother demanded that she be allowed to cut my hair again. I didn't fight back and try to keep my individuality. Instead, I appeased her. Now, I'm now back to square zero. Normal short haircut. Looks even worse than it did in October. Got at least a year, maybe 18 months before it'll be back to where it was before the October cut, and probably 9 months before I'll have a decent ponytail again.

I say, be yourself. If she truly doesn't want you kilted, don't go. Yes, some family members will probably get upset with you, but, better to be yourself than their image of what they think you are, which is likely to be something outdated and no longer accurate... Which definitely is the case with me... If they truly had their way, I wouldn't have facial hair, I'd still be wearing jeans all the time, and I would have my current haircut.
-J