Kilt or no? Group input sought...

[Mychael Sporrano]

Wow! Some varied feedback on the topic of 'freedom of choice'!! Thanks all for your reply to my request for advice. Excellent advice, all.

Well I figured it was her day and not mine so I respected her wishes.I did wear it earlier but not at the wedding and I'll tell you about that later.

Do tell...

When my older sister was married, her husband (who hated beards) required me to shave to come to the wedding.

That is an interesting request (requirement) to see printed on a wedding invitation. I am curious to know if your lack of attendance at the wedding had any consequences, immediate or otherwise. Here is the big question: Who came off as the jerk in this situation? The fellow who refused to prove his devotion to his family by honoring an absolutely inane request, or the fellow who made the inane request? Do you have to have dinner with this fellow on Boxing or Anzac days? [What in the heck is Anzac day, anyway?!]

I don't know that the fact that it's her birthday gives her the right to tell a grown man how to dress. Especially when he's bringing a present and honouring her birthday.
Does her age have any bearing on the question? Respect your elders is a good policy but it doesn't mean obey your elders. You can respect her opinion of kilts without obeying her wishes about how or where you wear them.

See, this is a very good point. I wouldn't expect to tell a person how to dress unless we're talking my kids and their attire is not appropriate for climate or event. Anyway, in this case I was not told directly. My wife was the recipient and subsequent messenger of the preference.

Age mattering? We all have our ideals, and while it seems easy in abstract to draw firm lines between right and wrong, it is not such a no-brainer in practice. I want to say that age counts, if only for reasons of respect. Now, being Grandma counts, certainly, and as XCop put it, being Queen for a Day is probably the largest consideration here.

Personally, if someone is bringing me a gift, they can dress as they wish!

The answer is obvious. Shave your head and wear the kilt. Well, the answer was obvious to ME, anyway.

Ha!

Some of my relatives think I should grow my hair and wear a 3 piece suit.

"GrROW your hair!" Now, that is one I have never heard before!

i'll live an die in a denim shirt. i haven't worn anything but a denim shirt for the last 6 years. but if Grandma expressed her desire for me to wear an Oxford for her birthday, i surely would. no matter how much it pains me.

Once again, Queen for the day. Is it a combination of being old, being Grandma, and being the B'day girl? In other words, can mom or day or sis request the Oxford on their respective birthdays?

Then, my sister & mother were perusing my computer for some reason, and found some stuff (which shall remain mystery here) on it. My mother demanded that she be allowed to cut my hair again. I didn't fight back and try to keep my individuality.

A hard drive atrocity, huh? My curiosity is certainly piqued here. Uh, maybe not... Anyway, you know what they say about giving in to blackmail...



Okay all, I decided to get to the root of the matter and moments ago called Grandma directly under the pretense of confirming tomorrow's dinner. It will only be attended by my immediate family and my father, by the way.

I asked her if she was planning on dressing up as nicely as she always does when we go out, and them used that as a seque to ask her directly if she minded my dressing up for the occasion as well. When I mentioned the kilt she laughed nervously, something I have never really heard her do before. She tends to be forthright, but it is obvious that she is not entirely comfortable with this.

She told me to dress like I want to dress, an answer that was not very satisfying. I pressed her again and she said,"Sure,why not. Let's see what folks think because I don't think that any of them around here have seen a kilt before. Dress like you want to dress."

From her tone I can tell that she would rather I wear the standard Dockers and nice shirt. But I am sensing some wiggle room here. Since the kids are going to be in their kilts I am leaning towards wearing mine but wish to talk it over with my wife after she reads through the entirety of this thread.

I'll be back in touch. Meanwhile, any further input is certainly welcome.

Mychael