My, Bear, that's quite the rant you've got there. I wish it weren't true, but you seem to be spot on there. It seems like such a waste, doesn't it?

We've already got a list of 'what's under there?' replies, but none for 'are you scottish?', which I seem to get much more often.
I've yet to come up with anything witty, other than "I'm not, but I thought I'd give my balls a holiday." and I didn't even manage a proper delivery thereof.

Any good ones for those of us slower on the draw?