Your worst puns

**MNlad** · 28th June 17, 08:08 AM

It is said that William Tell once shot an apple off his son's head. What isn't mentioned is that the shot wasn't centered but hit quite low. But that's splitting hairs.

**Mikilt** · 28th June 17, 08:25 AM

My neighbor came over with a Jello dessert (Jelly if you are in the UK).

She was carrying a congealed weapon.

**MNlad** · 28th June 17, 10:22 AM

My wife made some potato salad for our family reunion. Unfortunately, the mayonnaise had turned, causing great intestinal distress for everyone attending. Doctors called it a weapon of mass eruption.

**Mikilt** · 28th June 17, 06:42 PM

Neuter your dog. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of curs.

**Blupiper** · 29th June 17, 02:06 PM

"Pound of curs.." What's it called when you've got a pun in a pun? Kind of like breaking the fourth wall in films. Well done.

JMB

**Mikilt** · 1st July 17, 04:25 PM

A friend of mine stubbed her toe today. I tried to console her.

(Name changed to protect the punned upon)

Where does Susan bathe?
In the stub

What does Susan drive?
A toe truck

What does Susan wear when she dances?
A toe-toe

There is a book about Susan's toes. It's very well red

Susan really gets a kick out of her furniture

**Mikilt** · 1st July 17, 05:51 PM

I can't remember if this is a repeat. It doesn't show up when I search

A guy I know got fired from his job as a beekeeper. He got fired because he'd space out and walk away from the hives. He was a daydream bee leaver.