Appropriate? - Not!

[Katia]

I agree, I wouldn't have been so nice either. A "nice" response from me might have been "If you want to know about what's under my kilt, you at least have to buy me dinner first!" Otherwise you could just keep loudly repeating "why are you interested in my underwear?" (or whatever stronger language you want to use to reference what said underwear might contain). Or perhaps a simple, "Would you like to have a look?"

[kingandrew]

Katia-

I really like the line about buying me dinner first. It's funny and gets the point across clearly.

I must admit that I've never had anyone ask me "the question" in so boorish and insistent a manner. But I'm pretty big and most people in China with questions are more likely to ask why I'm wearing "a dress" out of sheer curiosity, rather than any desire to insult. The most common response is astonishment followed by a thumbs up and some variation of "That's so cool!"

When I get the underwear question, it's usually friendly teasing, often from women I've never met before who don't yet realize I'm married.

Andrew

[tpa]

I agree, I wouldn't have been so nice either. A "nice" response from me might have been "If you want to know about what's under my kilt, you at least have to buy me dinner first!" Otherwise you could just keep loudly repeating "why are you interested in my underwear?" (or whatever stronger language you want to use to reference what said underwear might contain). Or perhaps a simple, "Would you like to have a look?"

Had the questioner been female and were I not happily married, the dinner suggestion would have been an excellent idea, although I would have said: "You need to get to know me a lot better before you find that out, how about dinner first?", which is a response I have used to females in the past. Never had any takers though! In the circumstances, however, I would not even consider a drink with him, never mind dinner, even if he was buying, which, if he was a Scot, is unlikely.

[Unimoose]

My responses are typically sarcastic and shaming of the person asking. One was "do you really want to spend the rest of your life as a registered sex offender for touching a 51 year old guy?"

[Katia]

Had the questioner been female and were I not happily married, the dinner suggestion would have been an excellent idea, although I would have said: "You need to get to know me a lot better before you find that out, how about dinner first?", which is a response I have used to females in the past. Never had any takers though! In the circumstances, however, I would not even consider a drink with him, never mind dinner, even if he was buying, which, if he was a Scot, is unlikely.

It's not anticipated that he'd take you up on your offer (nor would it be if addressed to a female, or addressed to him by a female)... it would a firmly-sarcastic comment (or, I suppose, you could make it sound humorous if you wanted to be less offensive). I would guess that he would have the typical homophobic response to the suggestion and back off. If he actually appears interested after that, you can always roll your eyes and walk away.

[tpa]

It's not anticipated that he'd take you up on your offer (nor would it be if addressed to a female, or addressed to him by a female)... it would a firmly-sarcastic comment (or, I suppose, you could make it sound humorous if you wanted to be less offensive). I would guess that he would have the typical homophobic response to the suggestion and back off. If he actually appears interested after that, you can always roll your eyes and walk away.

I always attempt to make a joke of it and respond with a smile on my face as I have no wish to be confrontational and usually it is received in that way, although sometimes with an embarrassed laugh. Sadly, in this case, there appeared to be a sense of humour failure!

Sometimes no comment is necessary, as when a "gentleman", from the US side of the pond, posed the question at the dinner table on a cruise and got firmly and roundly told off by his wife in front of all at the table.

[WillowEstate]

"That's for my wife to know... and you to fantasize about" ?

[Father Bill]

I am beginning to appreciate that this subject is a constantly recurring obsession on this site. And as such I am coming to the conclusion that this may well form part and parcel of some individuals’ reason for wearing a kilt. A frisson of excitement seems to pervade the prurient descriptions of encounters with those emboldened to ask “the question” and the only response seems to be a search for a witty riposte.
Quite frankly, anyone coming forward with an approach of this nature deserves a rebuff in no uncertain terms for what can only be described as sexual harassment.

Steve, there are two threads on this topic current on the Forum. It is not unusual to have one, often none, but unusual to have two.

Your comment that there is a "frisson" is absolutely correct. Somebody here posted a couple of years ago a picture of an ancient (a century or so) postcard that showed two French women bending slightly to examine the back of the legs of a kilted Scot - the painting was stylized and the kilt was poorly rendered (or poorly worn) but the point is that centuries back, it was normal for folks to find the kilt titillating.

Yes there are rude people today who really push their luck. Rude people aren't a new evolution either, so we mustn't get bent out of shape imagining that this is either new, purely North American, or an indication of a new perversion.

It's an old and constant one.

My late father-in-law once commented to my twenty-year old niece, "Our generation did everything your generation does. We just didn't talk about it."

Now, are members of XMarks fascinated with being the object of such interest? Well, many of our members, myself included, did not grow up with the kilt. As such what might be old hat and disgusting to lifetime kilt wearers of "a certain age" is a new, shocking, and interesting experience. As such, yes, it will be discussed. Does that mean that XMarks has a disproportionate number of "perverts"? Certainly not. It means that many of us are experiencing for the first few times, something that has become boring and disgusting to experienced kilters.

[Steve Ashton]

I don't believe that it would be correct to say " this subject is a constantly recurring obsession on this site". We do, on occasion, have the subject come up. But far less than on almost any other site you would care to visit. There are sites where the sexual titillation component of kilt wearing is far more prevalent that on X Marks. I know of at least three sites where it is the main topic and primary subject of the entire site.

So, are we obsessed as was stated - No, far from it. Whenever someone brings the topic up it usually dies from lack of interest in a few days.

And is X Marks the place where all of this happens as has been implied. Again, No. If you would care to look back in our history I am pretty confidant that you will have a much harder time finding threads on this topic than on almost any other part of kilt wearing.

[ThistleDown]

"Our generation did everything your generation does. We just didn't talk about it." ...are members of XMarks fascinated with being the object of such interest? Well, many of our members, myself included, did not grow up with the kilt. As such what might be old hat and disgusting to lifetime kilt wearers of "a certain age" is a new, shocking, and interesting experience. As such, yes, it will be discussed. Does that mean that XMarks has a disproportionate number of "perverts"? Certainly not. It means that many of us are experiencing for the first few times, something that has become boring and disgusting to experienced kilters.

I am of that 'certain age' FB refers to. I did grow up wearing the kilt and I have had 'the question' asked. It is definitely old hat (but not disgusting) that it is sometimes discussed here.

I don't, however, consider the question or the frequency with which it is mentioned on this site, as a sign of perversion or excess. It is simply a sign of changing societal permissions and a need by new kilt-wearers -- mostly North American -- to tell-all. As FB's father-in-law said (and I think he was referring to the 1940s and 1950s -- certainly in Scotland and in Canada -- we did but did-not discuss. It was boorish and ungentlemanly/unladylike to do so.

'The Question' raises its head with many new members, most in their middle years, and dies from lack of interest in a few days.