Bagpipe humour!

[revdpatience]

I usually hear that one with the accordion landing on a banjo. As a banjo player myself, I take solace in the fact that the average person dislikes the banjo only slightly less than they dislike bagpipes. I happen to love them both, but don't have the lungs for the pipes.

On the subject of banjos, check out today's Google Doodle which honors Earl Scruggs.

[Oilverland]

There is a guitar maker near Seattle who had a long collection of musician jokes, but the list unfortunately disappeared when his Web site got upgraded. A couple I remember...

Why does a bagpipe player walk around when he plays? To get away from the noise.

What's the definition of a gentleman? Someone who can play the banjo but chooses not to. (I've applied this one to my yodeling.)

[KD Burke]

How do you get two pipers in tune? Shoot one.

What’s the difference between Highland pipes and Uillean pipes? Highland pipes burn longer, but Uillean pipes burn hotter.

What do you do if a piper rings your door bell? Pay him for the pizza, he’ll leave.

I don’t play a musical instrument. I’m a piper!

[Steve Ashton]

If you feel the need of an entire afternoons entertainment - Pass out packs of Double Bubble gum to an entire pipe band.

[kilted redleg]

Oliverland

I originally heard the gentleman joke as "How do you know a man in a kilt is a gentleman ?" There's no dandruff on his shoes!!

[AbuMaia]

"Pipes seem very odd when you first hear them, and a tyro practicing can set your teeth on edge -- it sounds and looks as if he had a cat under his arm, its tail in his mouth, and biting it.
But they grow on you. The first time our pipers kicked their heels out in front of the band, skirling away at "Alamein Dead," my hair stood up so straight it lifted my cap. It gets you; makes tears."

-Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

[OC Richard]

How do you get two pipers in tune? Shoot one.

Sort of a remix of Antonio Vivaldi's "The only thing worse than one flute, is two."

But of course getting two bagpipes in tune is done all the time. So is getting 20 in tune!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS4n5tjszp8

About banjos and bagpipes, in Irish music it's standard, and wonderful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNOnZTuWXzA

And bagpipes, banjo, and accordion together

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBB8xy9YfF8

[Baeau]

.....And bagpipes, banjo, and accordion together.....

Richard,

One of the Englishmen I worked for told me, that combination was why Lemmings jumped into the sea.

[KD Burke]

But of course getting two bagpipes in tune is done all the time. So is getting 20 in tune!

Of course! And there is no finer feeling in the world than standing in the circle with a well-tuned band playing well!

It seems that whenever I perform, someone wants to tell me a bagpipe joke. Out of self-defense I’ve acquired a large number of jokes for the purpose of beating them to the punchline.

As to banjo, I don’t play, but appreciate the instrument. It’s considerably more versatile than most folks imagine. A gentleman by the name of John Bullard has even released an album of classical music based on instruments typically associated with Bluegrass. It’s called “Bach on the Banjo” and it’s amazing. Also Bela Fleck is known for jazz banjo, a mind expanding experience if ever there was one!

[OC Richard]

Of course! And there is no finer feeling in the world than standing in the circle with a well-tuned band playing well!

Oh my gosh yes! Playing in a circle of Grade One pipers hammering out The Sheepwife with all those tachums clicking with precision is my best piping memory ever.

John Bullard has even released an album “Bach on the Banjo”

Then there's Jerry O Sullivan playing Bach on the pipes! It's amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_J_PXqrdBk