A decision has been made...

[dana]

Oh man! Dana!

I'm sorry to hear about the decision you've had to make, but I respect you for it. Jimmy's completely right - there's more to life than clothes.

I'm really glad you decided to stick around! I've enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months, and wouldn't want you to leave for anything. If there's anything we can do to keep you encouraged, let us know. And feel free to chat with us in the chatroom any time too.

Hey Rufus,

Thanks for the encouragement. I too feel like I've made some great friends here at XMarks. I'm going to keep posting and hanging around as long as I feel welcome (which I'm sure will be a long time).

The response has been great. I feel like I'm part of a great family. You guys are the best.

Thanks again and I'll be talking to you soon.

dana

[Hamish]

Dana,

I am so very sorry that 'things' have come to this for you but, although never having been married myself, I am sure you have made the right decision.

I was in a blessed relationship for wonderful 36 years and I know that my late partner, although a kilt wearer himself, would never have condoned my current, perhaps excessive, passion for kilts and the daily wearing of them (nor would he ever have acknowledged the present day trends in alternative kilt styles which I find so interesting).

Whether you keep in touch with us all or not - you must do what is best for you and for your precious relationship with your good lady - please remember that you will always have friends here.

[dana]

Dana,

I am so very sorry that 'things' have come to this for you but, although never having been married myself, I am sure you have made the right decision.

Hamish, I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Once again you have displayed your knowledge and tact. I'm glad the members here are showing now signs of "wearing blinders" if you know what I mean.

I was in a blessed relationship for wonderful 36 years and I know that my late partner, although a kilt wearer himself, would never have condoned my current, perhaps excessive, passion for kilts and the daily wearing of them (nor would he ever have acknowledged the present day trends in alternative kilt styles which I find so interesting).

I'm sure your partner would have eased into your excesses as you did

Whether you keep in touch with us all or not - you must do what is best for you and for your precious relationship with your good lady - please remember that you will always have friends here.

With the overwelming response I've gotten, I'm planning on sticking around as long as I'm welcome.

Thanks again for understanding and caring.

dana

[Muddy]

Dana,
You know I have to say, I kind of agree
with what Jeff said (Pittsburgh Kilts)..
I really don't want to come off like a creep
or anything but it sounds to me like your wife
has some real weird issues. Have you considered
some marriage counseling? I completely applaud
your love for your wife and your self sacrificing
nature but I think something just seems amiss here.
She needs some counseling. Really. This does not
seem to me to be a very healthy relationship.
I don't mean to be offensive. Just my two cents.

[bikercelt1]

I too am sorry that you find yourself in this situation but you have your priorities straight in preserving you reationship with your wife. I haven't been privy to your online chats so I don't know what the root of your wifes objection is, and it doesn't really matter at this point. I don't think I would start a relationship with a person who didn't like the way I dress, but I wouldn't let the way I dress destroy a loving relationship that existed before my intrest in kilts either. I hope you do continue to be part of this community. It's important to all of us to have your insights, maybe now more than ever because you're dealing with an issue slightly different than ours but still extremely relevant to us. Good luck to both you and your wife.

Jamie

[bubba]

Welcome to Callahans Place for kilt fans.

[Kiltedmusiclover]

Dana,

Man that is a bummer. I too am glad you have
decided to stick around.

[Riverkilt]

Ah Dana, 'tis sad indeed.

My heart is heavy.

I stand with Jeff and Muddy. Makes absolutely no sense to me that one partner would want to keep another from something they're drawn to, that makes them happy. Its the world turned upside down...you were blossoming.

Wouldn't matter if it were kite flying, or barbershop quartet singing, or drag racing, or refinishing old furniture. If it pleasures you and is your passion it seems cruel to crush that spirit in you.

I may have passed this on already in the early days of this sad situation. I am reminded of a close friend who wanted a Harley. Knowing his wife would object he began bringing home magazines, catalogs, and books on hang gliding. After that set in he mentioned Harleys and she actually encouraged him to buy the Harley not the hang glider.

Along a similar line you could begin accumulating information on nudist resorts and nudism. She might prefer you in kilts to nude at a resort.

Yes its manipulative...and too late...know my hopes are still with you.

Even though I'm a licensed therapist with an advanced degree in marriage and family therapy I'd never tell a client, or a friend, which decision to make. I do agree with another post that this issue may be a sign of needing to sit down with a professional and talk. Hard to accept that the kilts are the true issue.

Don't mean to get so personal...sorry. Do hope you stick around the board. Wish your wife could read the rapidly posted pages of support you've received.

This too shall pass,

Ron

[bear]

Dana,
I haven't posted yet because I've been thinking about this, not wanting to post until I had a clearer idea of what I wanted to say. Otherwise I would have sounded angry, or been very long winded.

I have always been interested in knowing ways that are used to control people to varying degrees. Painting the walls of a psychiatric ward a calming certain calming colour or using subliminal messages in musac, etc. It was just something that interested me because I greatly dislike being controlled by another's desires or preferences.

Of course, I have no idea of your situation in your life; your marraige, family, ideals, etc. and I won't question your decision on such a personal matter.

I will say that I hope the door swings both ways and that your relationship is as important to her as it is to you.

It's not in me to allow someone else that sort of control over a decision on something as fundamentally important as how the world sees me. I couldn't do it.
I don't know if that makes me stronger for my individualism or you stronger for your ability to compromise. In the end we all believe what we need to believe to survive.

All I know is that I'm happier and healthier in mind and body than I used to be because I'm wearing a kilt.

[Rigged]

Catholic school girls outfits are imitations of 19th Century English school boy clothing.

http://histclo.hispeed.com/country/eng/co-eng.html
(hit cancel when asked for a password)
http://www.electricscotland.com/tartans/story5.htm

Japanese school girl clothing was borrowed from 19th Century English Navy sailor uniforms.

http://www.eclecta.com/images/CABINE...unted-2_8w.jpg

What a drag (pun intended) that we can't wear something because women started wearing it.

To me, the kilt is not just about clothes any more than it was just about clothes when women started wearing trousers (and I'm old enough to remember when it was a daring thing for a woman to wear trousers in public).

If we keep giving up our clothing to women, in a few years there won't be anything a man can wear but his skin.

It's sad that there's now two guys on this list who are giving up wearing the kilt.

Any thoughts on what we can do about it?