Dear Kilt by Death,

Forgive my presumption, but I am assuming that when you open yer moo a lovely Scottish burrrrrr comes out. Non-Scots in kilts, in any country, often are treated well until their accent reveals them to be FAKES, IMPOSTERS, CULTURAL HIJACKERS, SASSENACHS SUFFERING FROM SEVERE BRIGADOONERY, etc etc etc. This has happened to me repeatedly, and let me say that one can go, quite suddenly, from being a happy-go-lucky kilt-wearer minding his own business, to a man on the defensive, fighting tooth and nail to not appear a complete git in front of unsympathetic lookers-on (which never works, people like this don't want to change their minds...).

I can imagine that someone visiting Scotland for the first time would like to avoid such tedious self-explainations and useless self-justifications which can totally ruin one's day and mood (happens to me often, last night included, when I ran into Scots on the street who were furious and offended that "A wasnna a Jock efter aw").

So don't go too hard on us non-Scots who love your country and its costume at our own peril!!